"How I Sprained My Ankle", by Motormouth

nevermind, it's way too embarrassing.

::Update::

Kim almost got it right. I was actually doing my make-up, when my foot fell asleep. I was running late for something, and in a rush, jumped up from my chair to go to my room to finish dressing. About a half second later, I was sprawled out on the living room floor, wondering WTF just happened. Then the pain hit. Ouch! The funny thing was that I had been on the phone and gotten disconnected when I fell, so I had to call the person back, and try to explain what happened. Before I could say anything, I started laughing hysterically, because well, it was either laugh or cry at that point, and I just felt so damn silly, knowing what an idiot I looked like when I fell.

So that was my story. Quite embarrassing to sprain your foot by trying to walk.

My turn for randoms

• I am uber jealous of all the fun that is being had *at this very moment* only two hours away from me. But, I will not drive by in the middle of the night, like some obsessed stalker. I will try really hard not to, anyways. *grin*

• My kids school carnival is today, and I have to volunteer, but I have no idea what I will end up having to do. One year, I had to face paint. Poor kids.

• Godiva makes chocolate bars, and they are very rich. I am ashamed to admit that I bought a package of 6 for a mom-to-be's baby shower, and then only gave her three. But man! They are yummy!

• I cannot seem to warm up. My family is fine, hot even, and here I am with my blankie around me, shivering. Is that normal for some people? Bad circulation, or what?

• Flicka. Anyone seen it? I wanna take DD and go watch Tim McGraw! :)

• I'm out of randoms, I guess. Everyone have a great weekend!! *smooches*

• Special *smooches* for Zombs and Carey today!

Letter from my daughter...

Backstory: Recently, both my children had the same field trip coming up. I wanted to volunteer, but had to choose one class to go with. I decided that my son's class needed the help, since it only had one parent volunteer, whereas my daughter's had at least 8. After making my decision known, my DD decided I then "owed" her. I don't really agree, but here's the letter I found the morning after my decision was made, placed on my chair...

Mom <--written on the outside

"All things to make the Monterey Bay "thing" up to me" <--titled

1. We could get away for a weekend (just us) and shop, see movies, or get our nails done.

2. You could get me a pink razor cell phone.

3. You could re-decorate my room.

4. You could take me to the mall, on a school day.

5. You could let me shave (legs only). <--as if she has anything else to shave, lol

So far, there is only one out of the five things that I'll consider. Any guesses?

So something came up...

...and now I have a question for you. Do you remember what age you were when you "learned" about sex? What grade were you in when your friends started talking about it? My DD recently told me that a boy in her grade (6th) brought a condom to school. *sigh* Also, I spent Friday with both the kids' classes, going to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, and I must admit, it was a strong reminder to me of how much the pre-teen years sucked. All the girls seemed to like the same clueless boy, and one girl ended up crying after hearing how he was going to ask another girl out. Oh the drama! I heard the phrase "holy snap!!" so many times I wanted to rip my ears off. (like every time someone saw a fish, "holy snap!!")

Anyhow, so I was wondering about what my kids were likely hearing in school about sex already, and I want to be prepared.

Here's the list of questions;

1. When did you start hearing kids referring to sex, often?
2. When did they start using profane terms, instead of "sex"?
3. When were you allowed to wear make up?
4. When were you allowed to start shaving?
5. What age were you allowed to start having a BF or GF?

MM's tips for...

Achieving a high level of smuttiness...

You must start practicing while very young. Trashy high-heels (especially white, after labor day) heavy jewelry, flashy hats and sexy shawls are all very important. Also...

...start applying make-up while in elementary school. Blue eye-shadow and Farrah Fawcett hair is a must. You cannot wear too much blush. Lipstick is mandatory. Practice making "kissy" faces in the mirror. Train other young girls (or your younger brother if that is all that's available) to do the same. Before you know it...

Voila! A Smuttress is born!

Sometimes it's a good thing...

when you have nothing to update about. I've been insanely busy, but not had much to report back here, and now, finally...I can update because I have all kinds of complaints and whines and stuff. *grin* Also, a couple new pics! (sorry, while I've been helping my mom clean out closets and whatnot, I've been finding some neat pictures). Bear with me.

So, I'll start with Saturday. We went on our annual family day trip to the local apple farm. It has lots of stops along the drive, with crafts and of course apples. I have no idea why we go, as none of us particularly love apples, or crafts, but hey, it's tradition. We go with another family, and in total there were 16 of us. I finally came clean to the mom (friends of my parents, who's daughters were my friends, as kids) that I had lied to her when I was a teenager. The guilt has been following me, and it felt good to admit it to her. She laughed it off, so it was all good. :)

On Sunday I was supposed to go to dinner with a friend of mine, but my older brother decided that it was time to really cut her loose (they had dated for a couple months and then he slowly broke it off with her, without ever really explaining). She was in no mood after that. I felt really bad for her, as she was still very much in love with DB. It needed to be done, though. Anyhow, so I was all dressed up with no place to go. I ended up driving way out to my brother's friends house (I've blogged about going there before...) and I was late to the party. I ended up going through her old pictures and even stole one (shhhh!) of a guy I kind of dated a long time ago. After everyone had left, her DH and I were cleaning the mess and Jennifer (the wife) was in the other room with her toddler. When I finally went in there to get my stuff to go, it was just in time to see her son pull a very tall bar stool down on himself. It got him right across the head. I felt completely panicked inside because I didn't know what to do. Jennifer picked him up and whisked him into another room (so the crying wouldn't wake her sleeping DD) and the husband walked in to find out what had happened. I explained quickly and then said. "I'm just going to get going now...". I was thinking I didn't want to be in the way, as they clearly had issues to deal with. Later, I felt horrible, thinking perhaps it was rude? Should I have stayed and offered help?

I found out today that they ended up having to go to the Emergency Room, and he had a concussion. Was it ok for me to leave, or should I have hung around in the living room, to see how he was? I feel horrible! BTW, my brother told Alex (the dad) that I had expressed regret for leaving, and Alex said it was ok, that there would have been nothing I could have done. Still, I feel awful about it.

I have to admit though, the idea of staying there any later just sounded horrible to me. I really needed to get going when I did, and on the bright side, as I was coming, I saw several shooting stars.

I am too tired to vent about my mother tonight. Maybe another time. I'm also too tired to share the letter my DD left for me tonight, and the fact that having twins is so hard sometimes, because I can only be in one place at a time, and sometimes, (make that always) field trips happen on the same day, damnit. I had to choose one, and it sucks. :(

Oh, here's a whine. *&%^$%<# blogger won't let me upload my pics.

*kicks everything around me*
*pout*

Puffy's Stolen Meme

1. If my life were a drinking game, everyone would do a shot when...

I laugh out loud, all by myself.

I amuse myself, really, as I do really stupid things, all the time. I jump at my own shadow, trip over things that are right where they should be, (and have always been), etc. So, everytime I laugh at my own stupidity, everyone takes a shot. :)

2. The Rat Packer I most identify with is: A) Frank Sinatra; B) Sammy Davis Jr; C) Dean Martin; or D) Peter Lawford

Huh? You mean the BRAT pack? Oh, easy. Ally Sheedy. *smile*

3. The first famous person I liked was:

Hmm. First serious crush was Joey McIntyre, from New Kids On The Block. Besides my first crush, I'd have to say Joe Montana. He was the first famous person I was fully aware of, I think.

4. If I had to gain 30 pounds, I would eat:

*looks at current diet* Heh.
Umm, pasta, bread, popcorn. Carbs, basically.

5. Choose one: A) The Rolling Stones; B) The Beatles (nuff said)

6. The person I'm mistaken for most often is:

The lady who actually works there.

7. Pick a Jessica: A) Jessica Alba; B) Jessica Biel; C)Jessica Simpson; D)Jessica Tandy

Freakin' hot. Jessica Biel is beautiful, too, Jessica Alba does it for me more. Jessica Simpson? Blech.

8. The worst advice I've ever received:

"Don't worry, pulling out is good enough".

9. After a long day, I like to kick back with: A) Martini; B) Cold Beer; C) Pinot Noir; or D) Chamomile Tea

E. Malibu and Coke. Will I ever grow tired of it?

10. The most underrated overrated performer is:

Either Jim Carey or Robin Williams. They overact, IMO. I won't even think about "singers" right now. Yeesh!



11. The thing I've wanted to buy but am just too embarrassed to purchase:

Hah. Like I'd say it here!

12. My porn name is: __________________(childhood pet + street you grew up on)

Smokey Sheldon

My Secret Identity

Yes, now you know my secret. *grin* If only my mother had taught me how to hold my tummy in. *frown* In this pic, I am around 5 years old and my brother is 6. We were going to try to fly off the roof that night, but our plan was foiled by my father. (we had little capes made out of towels and everything)

In this picture, I wanted to show off the lovely furnishings of the late 70's (this is for you Carey, a trip down memory lane *smirk*). Notice the carpet, the old Kirby vacuum cleaner, and the awesome sleepwear we are sporting. I am 7 here, and the baby is my younger (obviously) brother.






Last, but not least, is the costume party picture. Little brother appears to be around 3, so that makes me 10 years old. Back then, I was wearing white legitimately. *grin* (thank god)

Ok, that was my little trip down memory lane. I found these pics at my mom's house today, and brought them home and scanned them. Thanks for letting me share.

I'd *love* to see pics of you guys, from childhood, if anyone wants to share them. EmilyRugburn's always cracks me up. :)

I suck (among other things)

Sorry for disappearing from my own blog. I was so freaking busy the last few days, that I am embarrassed to admit, I haven't even cleaned the carpet with the wax on it. Frankly, I'm not sure I can find the spot, now. While it was still hot, we stepped on paper towels to soak it up, and that might have gotten it all....

Ok, strike that, I *just* checked, and after feeling around the carpet, there is one little spot that is kinda firmer than the rest of the carpet. That must be it. *sigh* Well, I'll try the iron trick first, followed by the goof-off, to remove any left over residue.

Oh hey, anyone who saw Little Miss Sunshine, *and* watches Grey's Anatomy, could you tell me if the little girl with superpowers was Olive, from the movie? It looked like her, to me.

Well, this weekend I helped my mom have a garage sale. It was huge, and she made over $400. In the end, we boxed up everything that was left over and are sending it to Goodwill. I am so proud of her for being able to let it all go.

I sold almost every single VHS movie that my kids had. All the Disney movies, and PBS shows and whatnot, for 50 cents each. I saved Toy Story 1 & 2, as well as Lion King 1 & 2, along with a couple others. They just never watch movies anymore, and also, sadly, DVD's are now more predominant, and easier to use than the tapes.

Last fun fact for the day: I drove home almost completely naked on Saturday night. *grin* Mom and I got in the hot tub late Saturday, and by the time I got out, I simply didn't feel up to dressing, so I drove home with only a bathrobe on. You can bet your bum I stopped completely at every stop sign, for fear of getting pulled over, lol.

Have *you* ever driven nekkid, or semi-clothed?

Thrift store finds... (and other stuff)

Went to a thrift store yesterday with a friend, and found some good stuff! I got a DKNY corduroy, knee length maroon skirt ($5), a pair of new Mary Janes with a small heel for DD ($7),
a really nice fall looking purse, in beige and brown ($3) and a small, Shabby Chic tea-lite candle lamp ($2). I love finding good deals like that!

Know what I hate, though? When I go to Dictionary.com and type in a word like oh, I don't know tealite just to see if I'm spelling it correctly, and the prompt says, "did you mean tea lite?" So I click on that, and then it says, "No results found for tea lite". WTF? Why does it ask you (all condescendingly, IMO) if you meant something else, only to knock that down, too? Happens all the time. I just can't help but picture a little voice asking all sweetly, "did you mean...?" and then turning sour and mean and saying, "No you effing idiot, you spelled it so wrong we don't even have what we think might be the correct spelling!"

OK, that was my rant. I'm done. Unless I start in on the fact that my darling son knocked a large burning candle off the computer desk this evening, and the result is candle wax *everywhere* including the carpet on the floor. *double sigh*

One more thing, HBO has a show right now called Kama Sutra. Pass on it, it's horrifically stupid. ;-)

Little Miss Sunshine

Anyone seen it? I saw it twice. I don't want to give it away, but there is one scene that makes the movie worth the $10, IMO. I saw it the first time late on Friday night, all alone. Just felt like getting out, and needed the breather from kids and DH. I haven't done that since Brokeback Mountain, and in both cases, I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. I recommend everyone do it sometime.

Then tonight, after working for my mother at her office *groan* I took her to see it, too. She laughed so hard (during the scene I love) and I would have been embarrassed, had the other four people there not been laughing as hard.

Which reminds me, when you go to the movies, are you very careful to be quiet? I get all uptight, and shush everyone I'm with. You can't open candy wrappers unless it's a loud moment in the movie, and you can't laugh too loud, and god forbid you try to talk to me, lest the other people hear and get mad.
I'm just concerned about the other people. Ack. Why do I feel all defensive now? Don't you get mad at people for being too noisy in the theater? I can guarantee, it's never me making the noise. :)

Sex in a Model Home?

I recently had reason to think about sex in model homes. I was going through some, and saw something. Maybe I'm perverted, but what I saw made me think someone had been scrumping in the master bathroom tub. And why not? If there were nobody else there that day, can you imagine wanting to? Except for the fear that there might be tiny cameras installed, just for this reason, I bet it happens more often than we realize.

Any thoughts on it? Have you ever done it? Would you consider it?

Bonus hypothetical question (completely unrelated to first topic)

Is there a law against duct taping a child's mouth shut? I mean, if the child agreed, and thought it would be fun, and the added benefit was that you wouldn't have to listen to the obnoxious 11 year old boy's mouth going constantly, would it be ok? Hypothetically, I mean.

Short update

Hi guys! I've missed you all, though from the looks of things, blogland has been kinda quiet. Where is everyone? Do we need to do a roll call? Raise your hand if you are here, please (and yes, that means YOU).

Well, I did my weekend thing with my friend. :) I gained forty pounds. Not kidding, we ate until we were *stuffed*! We ate too much, drank a bottle of rum, laughed, watched movies, went shopping, played online, slept in, read magazines ...we just had a blast. We decided to do it every six months. The room we stayed in was awesome. It had a kitchen, a huge bathroom (where we took a bubble bath together) and even had the coolest alarm clock ever. It had a light thing that shot the time onto the ceiling, so during the night, you could just glance up, instead of looking at the clock. Very neat! Anyways, I'm still busy working on some projects, but I'll be around, keeping an eye on everyone. *squinty eyes*

p.s. just kidding about the bubble bath. We are good friends and all, but...heh.

This weekend...

This weekend, my best friend and I are going to be spending Saturday and Sunday together. I think we're planning on shopping, movies, drinking and eating out. She's the one I go see every so often for dinner. I'm super excited, since it's been a long time since we've done anything like this. :)

Next week, I have a lot going on, and probably won't be around the blogs much. I'll check back in when things are looking better, here.

Have fun while I'm gone, guys!

In the news

(links included)


Two things that caught my eye recently, is the discovery of a walking shark (pictured). It is my absolute worst nightmare! lol!
As a cryptozoology enthusiast, I was particularly intrigued because it just goes to show, new discoveries are *always* being made. Just wait. Bigfoot and Nessie will be along shortly. ;-)

Another interesting article was about the first ever penis transplant (not pictured). "The patient finally decided to give up the treatment because of the wife's psychological rejection, as well as the swollen shape of the transplanted penis".

Hmm. So if these were to become commonplace, how many men would go on the donor list, do you think? And could you get used to the idea of having someone else's appendage (umm, on you or *ahem* in you)?

In the closet

I'm curious. I want to know about your closets. I just got done (well, not quite done, but almost) with helping my mom go through a bunch of her clothes. She is out of control. Do you know what dickies are? Well, she had probably a hundred of them! There was NO limit on what she would buy, if she liked it, or thought it would look good. It didn't help that she had a couple different sizes in the wardrobe, that she had to save "just in case" she went either up or down. It was insane.

So, can you share?....

1. Do you have a walk-in closet?
2. Do you keep a dresser in the closet, or just hanging clothes?
3. How many pairs of jeans do you own?
4. How many pairs of shoes?
5. Do you keep winter and summer clothes all together, or separated?
6. Do you share clothes with you SO?
7. Would you ever buy secondhand clothes?
8. Do you keep more than one size, or get rid of clothes as needed?

Fun stuff :)

Ok, here's two fun things for you, today. One is an IQ test they use in Japan, and the other is a link to a parody of James Blunt's song, You're Beautiful. Enjoy!

First, here are the directions; (Good luck, this sucker is hard!)

Click on link, then click on blue circle. Use the rules below.

"Everybody has to cross the river".
The following rules apply:
Only 2 persons on the raft at a time
The father can not stay with any of the daughters without their mother's presence
The mother can not stay with any of the sons without their father's presence
The thief (striped shirt) can not stay with any family member if the Policeman is not there
Only the Father, the Mother and the Policeman know how to operate the raft
To start click on the big blue circle on the right.
To move the people click on them. To move the raft click on the pole on the opposite side of the river.

(what's so funny, is that I was able to do this thing twice, but on the third try, couldn't do it again. It's hard!)

Link to IQ test

Now, here's the link that should make you LYAO, if you've ever worked in an office enviroment like this...

My Cubicle

P.S. Who watched Dancing with the Stars, tonight? So far, I was impressed with Emmitt Smith (that was him, right?) and Willa Ford. Need to finish it later (had to TiVo it). Can't wait to see Mario!

Also, for those who watched the BB finale *waves to Nutz* :P
did you think it was mean to humiliate Erika like that, or did you think she had it coming? I sure wasn't rooting for Boogie, but man, after hearing Erika imply that *she* was the real puppetmaster, I was happy to see her lose. :)

Bad News Blog *sigh*

Gosh, I miss the funner times, here. Well, here are a couple of updates. I talked to my cousin tonight, and let her know about her niece's myspace account. She said her sister knew there was one, but had never seen it. She said since the account had not been active in over a month, she would likely not mention it to her sister. I guess that's it then. She didn't seem nearly shocked or appalled enough, IMO.

I don't know if I mentioned it here before, but on the Sunday before Labor day, there was a motorcycle / truck accident on the major cross-street, near my neighborhood. DH was taking the kids over to my parent's house, and they passed the scene, before any help had arrived. The kids saw the cyclist, on the ground, with blood all over his head. They were quite disturbed by what they saw. I assumed that the man had lived, based on the fact that there was no make-shift memorial set up. That Tuesday, DD found out that the man was the father of one of her friends at school. He had survived the accident, and they were asked to draw pictures for him,while he was in the hospital. Today, she came from home school and told me that it was announced he died yesterday. I am just heartbroken for the little girl, and her mother. I have no idea if there is anything I can do. *sigh*

Um, so some good news? I made a yummy dinner tonight. My DH and kids are going to a baseball game on Thursday. :) Thursday will be a good day. I can feel it. *grin*

Does anyone have anything good to share here, to brighten up my sullen blog?

Myspace.com

Dilemma. I recently discovered that my cousin's 13 year old daughter has a Myspace account, that is very inappropriate for her age. She presents herself as a 17 year old who says "im fucking sexi....i will suck ALL the seamen out of you". Can you believe that this is what a young girl is writing? She also wrote somewhere in the profile, "lol i like to FUCK the t.v...does anyone think thats sexi???" I can't believe, that at 13 years old, she would say things like that. There is even more, and it's all just as disturbing. There are also photos of herself, and though all are fully clothed, many are kind of seductive looking. Go figure. *sigh*

The account has been inactive since June sometime, when the last comment was left for her. It doesn't look like she still visits the sight, but her pics are still up, and now I am left wondering how to proceed. Her mother (my cousin) and I, have had a *very* tumultuous relationship, and I don't even have her contact info. My other cousin (the mother's sister) and I are closer, and I am thinking of calling her to make sure someone knows about this. Is that what I should do? My only concern is that my cousin (13 year olds mother) would resent me very much for being the one to bring this to her attention. I have reason to believe that she may even already know about this account, since it was after SHE mentioned it to my brother (in passing) and he looked it up online himself. But if she knew, would she leave pics of her DD on the internet?? He wasn't sure when she mentioned it, if it was something she was aware of, or something that was more of a concern (hypothetically). Anyways, what do I do?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Also, because it's 9/11, I wanted to do (or say) something, in memory of that day, and those whose lives were taken. It's been fairly easy, being here on the west coast, to "move on" and distance my reality from that time. It has been good, though very hard emotionally, to be reminded of it. The thread on OT has a link to a 911 phone call, and even though it was prefaced with a warning, I thought I could listen to it. Be warned, it is VERY disturbing. I had an emotional and physical reaction to it, and it left me upset for quite a while. I am glad. I needed to be reminded. Some people live with the reminder every. single. day., and I can't imagine how difficult that must be. I was fortunate enough to not have been "personally" affected, by losing friends or family, but as a human, how can I not be affected? Anyways, my thoughts and heart are with all who were lost, all who were touched personally, and every other American who felt the effects of that day.

Friday already?

Wow, this week flew by. Unlike most people, I actually don't love the weekends. It means my house is full, noisy and messier than usual. It means everything I do (or don't do) will be noticed. *sigh* What a whiner I am. This Saturday, I will be watching my cousins two daughters. I have no idea how to keep them occupied. I usually pick things that cost money (movies, shopping, eating out, etc.) but this time, I want to be smart and stay in. We'll see how long I keep my resolve on that.

Last night, I went to a friends house for dinner. I brought Panera soup for the two of us. It was alright, but her two kids were quite the handful. I don't like being hit by a three year old, and then patted on my boobs as he observes that I have some. His mom said he's obsessed with them lately, lol.
We went through some old photos of hers, from back when we were teenagers. It was fun to reminisce. :) One thing that caught me off guard though, was that she had some photos of herself, in a bra and panties, that she had her cousin (female) take of her, when she was around 13 - 14 years old. Is that normal? *boggle* I was there pretty late, and by the time I got home, I was spent.

Oh, here's one last thought. What is with certain expressions? What do they mean? They annoy the hell out of me, though I use them too, lol.

It is what it is. ? (what is it?)

At the end of the day? (gotta love Dr. Will)

Another I hate,

Hang in there. (as opposed to what?)

If I can do it, you can do it. (so not true, usually)