Have I mentioned I have a SIL from hell? Yes? Oh. Well, for the most part, the problems that transpire between my brother and his wife are their own business. I get irritated and sad and angry at times, but have been pretty good at staying out of the mess they created. Until now.
It appears as though someone wrote an anonymous letter to SIL's parents. She lives with them now, btw. The letter was pretty harsh and whoever wrote it obviously prefers my family over hers. The letter called her out on her vanity, emotional and mental problems, her past marriages, the kind of friends she keeps and the parents inability to see this, and help her get help. I didn't read it myself and I know I'm forgetting some things in it.
My brother informed me that his DW suspected me among a few other people (the writer identified herself as a woman) as the sender. I'm not sure why I care so much, but this information infuriated me. For one, I would not have kicked her parents while they were down (so to speak) and the timing of the letter was dreadful. Cheryl had just *finally* been getting some real help while in the hospital and was diagnosed as having Bipolar Disorder and possibly Borderline Personality disorder as well. She was also told she has some anxiety problems (lol, who doesn't?) and also Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
I'm not so upset that I am a suspect, as I can see based on the things written how she can think it was someone close enough to know certain details, and who obviously was protecting my brother. I guess I'm more upset that there is nothing I can do to prove it wasn't me. I confronted her on Sunday and told her point blank that it was not me. I looked her right in the eye and basically told her that I would say anything I needed to, to her face and that also, I would have deflected from myself much better, had I actually written it.
I found out later that she still suspects me. *sigh* Now what? I'm guessing some will say to 'just let it go', but that is really hard for me. I don't want her parents thinking that lowly of me. It seems really unfair to me. I've worked hard to get to know her parents, even inviting them to my own parents anniversary party, and then being the only one besides my mom who stayed to clean up after the reception for my brother and Cheryl. And now I'm in the doghouse?
Cheryl called me three times today because she was obsessing over things between her and DB. She asked me if I think he loves her, she asked me about things I've discussed with her aunt (who is a good friend of mine). She is also trying to trip me up and catch me in a lie about the letter. My brother confirmed that last part because he's witnessed how she operates and he could tell by the things she was asking me. It was obvious. I won't be answering her calls anymore.
As for my brother, he wants out. Why he doesn't just go and file for divorce, I don't know. He's afraid of looking bad, maybe? Gah, there is SO much more I could write about this, it's just too long and complicated. He really can't stand her right now and does not think he has what it takes to endure this with her. He has his own physical problems to deal with. I think he's afraid of breaking her heart, too. It's also becoming clear that Cheryl probably won't be focusing on her own problems. Even though she was finally diagnosed, she's still trying to figure out what's wrong with DB. She just can't see that her disorders were enough to undo things. She needs another person to point the finger at. Oh! And last night she accused DB of loving his children more than her! *snort* Ya think?
Ok, for those following this saga, thanks for reading. There are probably lots of gaps because I did not see where I last left off. I think the only part I hadn't updated you on was that she moved in with parents because my brother (and my parents) told them she could not come back to their house.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Sunday, July 29, 2007
My Date with Carey
My evening with Carey began here:
After the services, we decided to join the Church goers for a "picnic bible study" where we all drank some milk. We were doing fine until Carey started spinning the milk carton around, demanding that everyone kiss her. Then for some reason they all said they had to go...
Carey was a wonderful date. She opened doors for me, bought my dinner and refrained from screaming obscenities at me while I drove. And all I had to do was put out. *grin*
::side note to Jen:: uh, nothing happened. Not even the hand jobs. We were very ladylike. *besa*
After the services, we decided to join the Church goers for a "picnic bible study" where we all drank some milk. We were doing fine until Carey started spinning the milk carton around, demanding that everyone kiss her. Then for some reason they all said they had to go...
Which left me alone with Carey, in my car. We discussed politics, religion and various charity organizations we like. We never discussed sex at all. Nope, not one bit. She also never dropped the F-bomb, nor did she poot while we were trying to eat.
The only part of her story that is accurate is the shopping. I'll admit to that. *grin* In this pic, she was singing "You shook me all night long" by AC/DC .
The truth lies somewhere in between her story and mine, I guess. You may never know. ;-) Regardless of what we actually *did* during those hours together, I do know one thing. I'd do it again, anywhere, anytime.
The truth lies somewhere in between her story and mine, I guess. You may never know. ;-) Regardless of what we actually *did* during those hours together, I do know one thing. I'd do it again, anywhere, anytime.
Carey was a wonderful date. She opened doors for me, bought my dinner and refrained from screaming obscenities at me while I drove. And all I had to do was put out. *grin*
::side note to Jen:: uh, nothing happened. Not even the hand jobs. We were very ladylike. *besa*
Friday, July 27, 2007
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Yikes!
Today, my brother decided he was done (again) with his wife "Cheryl". He called her and told her that she needed help and that he was not equipped to take it on. He asked her to please move out. She started in with the usual routine of begging, pleading and promising change, but this time, he stood his ground. In the afternoon, he came to my house to hang out because he did not want to see her. Have I mentioned that DB has lost 40lbs in just the two months he's known her? He's been physically just shutting down. His kidneys have been acting up too, from the stress. Anyways, he was here when she started blowing up his cell phone. He finally took the call and spent the next hour on the phone with her. She was telling him he was all she had in the world to live for. Then she told him to "take care of my dog, and you can have my stuff". She then tells him she just took about 20 Tylenol. OK, for one, she has countless bottles of prescription drugs. Some that would likely be lethal if abused. But, Tylenol? Hmm. So DB hangs up from her (after she chastised him for not freaking out and calling for help immediately after being informed).
He calls her parents and heads to the house which is about 2 minutes from my home. Maybe 4 with traffic. He did not really think she took anything, and waited until he got home to check things out, before calling paramedics. He gets there and she is laying on the couch with the empty bottle of Tylenol sitting next to her. He immediately picks up the phone and calls 911.
She starts freaking out asking why he's calling. (umm hello? aren't you attempting suicide?) Then she tries to leave. He blocks her from her keys, while still telling the dispatcher what's going on. They tell him to try to stop her from leaving. She then takes off on foot, down the street.
While all this is taking place, I am at home, on the phone with my dad. He asks me to please go to the house and just at least wait outside until her parents can get there (we had no idea what was happening). I drove over there and because of a traffic light, decided to take the street just before the one I usually turn on. As I rounded the corner, I see an ambulance, fire truck, a smaller fire truck and a police car. Then I spotted DB standing on the sidewalk. I pulled over, having no idea why they were all way down here, as opposed to being at the house. I still didn't see "SIL". *winks at kim* Finally, I see the paramedics surrounding someone who is near the fence (way up on the yard) of a random neighbor. DB asks me to go on down to the house because he is expecting her parents and they would not know where to go.
He eventually joins me after his wife was taken to the hospital. I left when her parents arrived. My parents went to the hospital tonight to check on her and offer support to her parents and DB. I thought for sure DB's wife would have her stomach pumped but apparently, whatever she took was not enough to even register while they were monitoring her vitals. Instead they gave her those charcoal tablets (or something).
DB had some pressure from "Cheryl's" mother, telling him all she needed was "for him to love her". He doesn't seem to be budging in his position though. This time, I am hoping he really does stick to his decision.
All in all, truth be told, I feel really badly for Cheryl. She is obviously not well. It's hard to believe that two adults got themselves into such a mess.
So that? Is how I spent my evening.
He calls her parents and heads to the house which is about 2 minutes from my home. Maybe 4 with traffic. He did not really think she took anything, and waited until he got home to check things out, before calling paramedics. He gets there and she is laying on the couch with the empty bottle of Tylenol sitting next to her. He immediately picks up the phone and calls 911.
She starts freaking out asking why he's calling. (umm hello? aren't you attempting suicide?) Then she tries to leave. He blocks her from her keys, while still telling the dispatcher what's going on. They tell him to try to stop her from leaving. She then takes off on foot, down the street.
While all this is taking place, I am at home, on the phone with my dad. He asks me to please go to the house and just at least wait outside until her parents can get there (we had no idea what was happening). I drove over there and because of a traffic light, decided to take the street just before the one I usually turn on. As I rounded the corner, I see an ambulance, fire truck, a smaller fire truck and a police car. Then I spotted DB standing on the sidewalk. I pulled over, having no idea why they were all way down here, as opposed to being at the house. I still didn't see "SIL". *winks at kim* Finally, I see the paramedics surrounding someone who is near the fence (way up on the yard) of a random neighbor. DB asks me to go on down to the house because he is expecting her parents and they would not know where to go.
He eventually joins me after his wife was taken to the hospital. I left when her parents arrived. My parents went to the hospital tonight to check on her and offer support to her parents and DB. I thought for sure DB's wife would have her stomach pumped but apparently, whatever she took was not enough to even register while they were monitoring her vitals. Instead they gave her those charcoal tablets (or something).
DB had some pressure from "Cheryl's" mother, telling him all she needed was "for him to love her". He doesn't seem to be budging in his position though. This time, I am hoping he really does stick to his decision.
All in all, truth be told, I feel really badly for Cheryl. She is obviously not well. It's hard to believe that two adults got themselves into such a mess.
So that? Is how I spent my evening.
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In case anyone missed it, or has any other suggestions, please comment on my last post. I was going to leave it up for another day, but decided to blog about this instead.Oh! And did you all see my new sig that RollDdice made for me? I think I would have preferred having it sent to me via PM (lol) but I just love it. It's in the thread with my name in the title on OT. Sofa king cute! :)
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Slumber Party
I am planning a slumber party in a couple weeks. It will be myself and 4 other women. I need some ideas as to what we should plan on doing. We are reserving a room at the Larkspur Landing (great hotel) which has DVD players, a full kitchen and two beds (one in a separate room).
We are obviously planning on doing each other's hair and having pillow fights (haha), but I need some other ideas. Like what movies to watch, or some fun drinking games we can play. Anything. I'm kinda desperate. What would *you* want to do? Would you even go to something like this? Do you think it's weird? I've done it before, but usually only with my BF. When I was a teenager I loved hosting slumber parties in local hotels, too.
I was thinking we could even rent a season of something, like Sex and the City. Or something else kinda girly.
So please give me any ideas you can come up with.
P.S. please don't suggest we smoke pot. Some of the women are way too uptight for that.
P.S.S. DB's wife is at it again. She is telling him her IQ is so incredibly high that she can't even tell him, as it would make him feel insecure. She also insisted (once again) that all his friends would tell him how stupid he is for not "appreciating" her more. And also that she is used to being "more worshipped". She said all this as she popped at least 3 Vicodin. She is officially insane. *sigh*
Edited to add a small rant:
Why the eff would God be helping Kail? Is he watching Big Brother? Is he rooting for her? This confuses me. Does he not care about the other players? Or could it be that he doesn't give a flying fuck about a fucking reality TV show?? Get over yourself dumbass! /rant. (sorry, for those not watching it, Kail said she thought "god was going to help her" or some other non-sense like that. As if he has nothing better to do)
We are obviously planning on doing each other's hair and having pillow fights (haha), but I need some other ideas. Like what movies to watch, or some fun drinking games we can play. Anything. I'm kinda desperate. What would *you* want to do? Would you even go to something like this? Do you think it's weird? I've done it before, but usually only with my BF. When I was a teenager I loved hosting slumber parties in local hotels, too.
I was thinking we could even rent a season of something, like Sex and the City. Or something else kinda girly.
So please give me any ideas you can come up with.
P.S. please don't suggest we smoke pot. Some of the women are way too uptight for that.
P.S.S. DB's wife is at it again. She is telling him her IQ is so incredibly high that she can't even tell him, as it would make him feel insecure. She also insisted (once again) that all his friends would tell him how stupid he is for not "appreciating" her more. And also that she is used to being "more worshipped". She said all this as she popped at least 3 Vicodin. She is officially insane. *sigh*
Edited to add a small rant:
Why the eff would God be helping Kail? Is he watching Big Brother? Is he rooting for her? This confuses me. Does he not care about the other players? Or could it be that he doesn't give a flying fuck about a fucking reality TV show?? Get over yourself dumbass! /rant. (sorry, for those not watching it, Kail said she thought "god was going to help her" or some other non-sense like that. As if he has nothing better to do)
Monday, July 23, 2007
::Mom Rant::
Let me begin by saying that because some of our fellow bloggers are mothers, it's kinda hard for me to do this. I have no idea if my rant includes anyone I know here, so if it does, I'll apologize now and just say that this is *my* opinion, and should not be taken personally. Here I go;
I went to see Knocked Up on Saturday night. The movie was at 10pm and surprisingly had quite a few people in it, despite the movie not being a new release. I had heard from some friends that it was somewhat crude, so I was expecting it to be similar to American Pie and those sorts of movies. It definitely was. The humor was mostly sexual and they dropped the "F" bomb regularly. There was a lot of drug use as well (marijuana). None of this bothered me in the slightest until I noticed a family with their 4 year old daughter with them (guessing on the age)! Ok, here's the part where if you would have taken *your* child to this movie, you may want to stop reading.
WTF are people thinking? How selfish is it to drag a child along to a 10pm movie that has nothing good in it for them, because what? you couldn't get a sitter? God forbid you stay home! This little girl saw sex, bongs, and heard every bad word imaginable. Unless she was both blind and deaf, in which case I would still say it was selfish to make her sit there. *sigh*
When DH and I went to see Wedding Crashers, the same thing happened. A mother and small child sat in front of us. I spent most the movie cringing, instead of laughing. I could see how one person (the mother who brought the child to Wedding Crashers) could be stupid enough to do it, but to see a whole group, endorsing the fact that this little girl was watching Knocked Up? I can't believe it.
Tell me, is it that people think they're too small to understand? I know my brother and my cousin have taken their infants to movies like that, assuming they couldn't understand anything, but 4 years old? Gimme a break! And I know I might be too uptight and on the other end of the spectrum but frankly, when I was pregnant, I no longer allowed DH to use certain words around me. They might not understand it, but isn't it being "banked" somewhere? I don't know.
People who know me know that I am pretty tolerant of most things and I try so hard not to be judgmental, but the one thing I get all worked up about is lazy parenting. This includes not disciplining as well. It includes all the asshats who buckle their own GD seat belts, but let the kids bounce around unbuckled. It includes parents who smoke within feet of a child with no ventilation around.
Am I out of line? Eh, maybe you shouldn't answer that. I hope nobody has been offended by my rant, but I needed to get it out. And FTR, as a parent, I know we all do selfish things at times, so I'm not trying to say we're supposed to be perfect. I guess I just try to refrain from conscious choices that have negative effects on our kids. I can even see walking into a movie, hoping it will be ok, but for Cod's sake, walk back out when it crosses a line.
So, anyone else have any rants they'd like to share?
I went to see Knocked Up on Saturday night. The movie was at 10pm and surprisingly had quite a few people in it, despite the movie not being a new release. I had heard from some friends that it was somewhat crude, so I was expecting it to be similar to American Pie and those sorts of movies. It definitely was. The humor was mostly sexual and they dropped the "F" bomb regularly. There was a lot of drug use as well (marijuana). None of this bothered me in the slightest until I noticed a family with their 4 year old daughter with them (guessing on the age)! Ok, here's the part where if you would have taken *your* child to this movie, you may want to stop reading.
WTF are people thinking? How selfish is it to drag a child along to a 10pm movie that has nothing good in it for them, because what? you couldn't get a sitter? God forbid you stay home! This little girl saw sex, bongs, and heard every bad word imaginable. Unless she was both blind and deaf, in which case I would still say it was selfish to make her sit there. *sigh*
When DH and I went to see Wedding Crashers, the same thing happened. A mother and small child sat in front of us. I spent most the movie cringing, instead of laughing. I could see how one person (the mother who brought the child to Wedding Crashers) could be stupid enough to do it, but to see a whole group, endorsing the fact that this little girl was watching Knocked Up? I can't believe it.
Tell me, is it that people think they're too small to understand? I know my brother and my cousin have taken their infants to movies like that, assuming they couldn't understand anything, but 4 years old? Gimme a break! And I know I might be too uptight and on the other end of the spectrum but frankly, when I was pregnant, I no longer allowed DH to use certain words around me. They might not understand it, but isn't it being "banked" somewhere? I don't know.
People who know me know that I am pretty tolerant of most things and I try so hard not to be judgmental, but the one thing I get all worked up about is lazy parenting. This includes not disciplining as well. It includes all the asshats who buckle their own GD seat belts, but let the kids bounce around unbuckled. It includes parents who smoke within feet of a child with no ventilation around.
Am I out of line? Eh, maybe you shouldn't answer that. I hope nobody has been offended by my rant, but I needed to get it out. And FTR, as a parent, I know we all do selfish things at times, so I'm not trying to say we're supposed to be perfect. I guess I just try to refrain from conscious choices that have negative effects on our kids. I can even see walking into a movie, hoping it will be ok, but for Cod's sake, walk back out when it crosses a line.
So, anyone else have any rants they'd like to share?
Friday, July 20, 2007
Umm...*yawn* - Updated!
added link for Weltek. :) Johnny Carino's
Ok, so the sleep over went pretty well. I got to the house in time to go to dinner. We went to Johnny Carino's (which was good - do you have one?). After that, we went back to the house and just hung out. My friend asked me whether I wanted to sleep with her, or with my DD, in another bed. I chose DD. My (very demanding, but I'll save more on her for later) friend told me in the morning that I chose wrong, and therefore, still owe her a sleepover. She's an odd one. She has begged me forever to spend the night when I go over to her house, but I never have. I'm just not comfortable in other people's beds and would prefer my own house. How about you?
My friend (Jenn) has a family bedroom. They all sleep in there, every night. The 11 year old daughter sleeps with the mom, the toddler sleeps on a bed right next to the King bed, and the dad apparently sleeps in the "bonus room" part of the bedroom where they have yet another bed. What's your take on all this? I find it odd that the husband and wife don't sleep together, but I guess they haven't since the 11 year old was born.
The next day my friend wanted to go a thrift store that was having a big sale. She of course bought only sale items and spent $30, while *I* spent almost $60 including three pairs of shoes, a purse, a candle stick and some clothes for DD.
She insisted we go out without showering or primping. I was completely out of my comfort zone, but I did it anyways. I have a reputation amongst my friends as being uptight and "girly" so I was really making an effort. She didn't even have an iron for me to use! :o
When we got back to her house, the girls went swimming and we just hung out for a while, talking. We didn't end up leaving her house until after 9pm. Late last night I realized I had a 7:30 doctors appointment this morning! I think I got about 3 hours sleep last night. *yawn*
~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing new to report about my brother. I have no idea how they are still together, but apparently she is really making an effort. This is the first time in her life that she felt someone was not completely smitten with her, and she is taking it on as a challenge, I guess. *shrug*
We'll see how long this works.
Ok, I think I'm going to go lie down for a while. I'm freakin exhausted!
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I have an update, but it's not written yet and I only have 5 hours until I need to get up. And I didn't sleep last night, so I should try to get a couple hours sleep before anything else.
I'll come back later during the day and try to get the update up.
And FTR, (in case anyone is keeping track) DB is still married. ;-)
Ok, so the sleep over went pretty well. I got to the house in time to go to dinner. We went to Johnny Carino's (which was good - do you have one?). After that, we went back to the house and just hung out. My friend asked me whether I wanted to sleep with her, or with my DD, in another bed. I chose DD. My (very demanding, but I'll save more on her for later) friend told me in the morning that I chose wrong, and therefore, still owe her a sleepover. She's an odd one. She has begged me forever to spend the night when I go over to her house, but I never have. I'm just not comfortable in other people's beds and would prefer my own house. How about you?
My friend (Jenn) has a family bedroom. They all sleep in there, every night. The 11 year old daughter sleeps with the mom, the toddler sleeps on a bed right next to the King bed, and the dad apparently sleeps in the "bonus room" part of the bedroom where they have yet another bed. What's your take on all this? I find it odd that the husband and wife don't sleep together, but I guess they haven't since the 11 year old was born.
The next day my friend wanted to go a thrift store that was having a big sale. She of course bought only sale items and spent $30, while *I* spent almost $60 including three pairs of shoes, a purse, a candle stick and some clothes for DD.
She insisted we go out without showering or primping. I was completely out of my comfort zone, but I did it anyways. I have a reputation amongst my friends as being uptight and "girly" so I was really making an effort. She didn't even have an iron for me to use! :o
When we got back to her house, the girls went swimming and we just hung out for a while, talking. We didn't end up leaving her house until after 9pm. Late last night I realized I had a 7:30 doctors appointment this morning! I think I got about 3 hours sleep last night. *yawn*
~~~~~~~~~~
Nothing new to report about my brother. I have no idea how they are still together, but apparently she is really making an effort. This is the first time in her life that she felt someone was not completely smitten with her, and she is taking it on as a challenge, I guess. *shrug*
We'll see how long this works.
Ok, I think I'm going to go lie down for a while. I'm freakin exhausted!
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I have an update, but it's not written yet and I only have 5 hours until I need to get up. And I didn't sleep last night, so I should try to get a couple hours sleep before anything else.
I'll come back later during the day and try to get the update up.
And FTR, (in case anyone is keeping track) DB is still married. ;-)
Monday, July 16, 2007
6 randoms
1. Eating a whole bag of microwave popcorn by yourself is normal, right? (not saying *I* did this of course...)
2. My DD almost started crying today when I told her it was up to her to clean the mess her cat left on her bed (hairball nastiness). I was trying to clean the kitchen and got so frustrated by her saying she "couldn't" do it, I told her to go write a poem about it. *snort* I have never done that before and she looked at me like I was insane. At any rate, she left it open in Word and this is what she has so far:
Smokey threw up on my bed, and I can't get it out of my head.
Mom wants me to clean it up, but I'd rather keep a pet spider in a cup.
I'll do the dishes year after year, I'll rub Mom from her feet to her ears.
Cleaning this would be crossing a line, I am so mad at that dumb feline.
3. Anyone else watch Making the Band 4? I got hooked on it while they were running a marathon of it this weekend. Good stuff. Actually, I'm quite surprised I like it, as it is not my kind of music and I'm not a big P. Diddy fan.
4. DD and I are going to our first joint sleep over this week. It's funny really because she was invited by my friend's DD, but Jess doesn't like her very much and begged me to go, too. I feel silly doing it, but it will make both my friend and her DD happy, so...*shrug*
5. As of 11pm tonight, my brother and his wife are still together. I'll continue to keep you posted.
6. I would really like it if MTW added a "?" on the end of his blog post. :)
2. My DD almost started crying today when I told her it was up to her to clean the mess her cat left on her bed (hairball nastiness). I was trying to clean the kitchen and got so frustrated by her saying she "couldn't" do it, I told her to go write a poem about it. *snort* I have never done that before and she looked at me like I was insane. At any rate, she left it open in Word and this is what she has so far:
Smokey threw up on my bed, and I can't get it out of my head.
Mom wants me to clean it up, but I'd rather keep a pet spider in a cup.
I'll do the dishes year after year, I'll rub Mom from her feet to her ears.
Cleaning this would be crossing a line, I am so mad at that dumb feline.
3. Anyone else watch Making the Band 4? I got hooked on it while they were running a marathon of it this weekend. Good stuff. Actually, I'm quite surprised I like it, as it is not my kind of music and I'm not a big P. Diddy fan.
4. DD and I are going to our first joint sleep over this week. It's funny really because she was invited by my friend's DD, but Jess doesn't like her very much and begged me to go, too. I feel silly doing it, but it will make both my friend and her DD happy, so...*shrug*
5. As of 11pm tonight, my brother and his wife are still together. I'll continue to keep you posted.
6. I would really like it if MTW added a "?" on the end of his blog post. :)
good freakin' grief
Well, in my last post I said it looked as though my brother's marriage was over. Then, much to my shock, he was talked into giving her another chance. This was after admitting to me (and my parents) just how this girl acted behind closed doors. I want to give you all lots of examples, but I don't even know where to start. All I can say is she is the epitome of narcissistic. She would tell him he could "never do better than her" and that she could "beat him up if she wanted to" (WTF?? Who says that??) and that she could "walk all over him if she wanted to". She talked about how she could never have "normal" women as friends because if they were not as beautiful as her, they were too jealous to be good friends with her. On it goes...including her constantly talking about her first ex, who was the one who physically and emotionally abused her. Except she never mentioned all that. Instead she would talk about how good looking he was and how much money he made. She would then very graciously say that she sees potential in my brother, making it seem as though she is doing him a favor by "helping" him see it. Anyways, by the time I heard all of this, I was completely ready to never have to see her again.
I was quite upset (understatement) to find out he was giving her another chance. She begged him, saying she loved him and would change. She took full responsibility for everything, admitting everything he pointed out to her. By the next day, she was angry at him for "only noticing the bad things about her". She also said he was a bad person and he was narcissistic if he thought he could do better than her. (ha!)
I knew it was only a matter of time until she would have another blow up and he would then feel justified in leaving her. So today, she not only went off on him verbally, she also physically tried to prevent him from walking out of the fight by grabbing and ripping his shirt. She left a very defined (four finger) scratch down the back of his neck. He was done. Finally!
But no. She begged and pleaded and again took all responsibility. She promised to change. I talked to him tonight, and he seems to believe she *won't* change, but feels if he gives her this "last chance", he'll then feel guiltless when he walks away. *sigh*
I don't know what to think, or who to be angry with. My brother told me he no longer loves her, he believes she is bi-polar (though she's been tested at least 4 times and says she's not) and he feels sorry for her. Part of his reason for taking her back tonight was because her cousin (pictured on the far left in the "Plastics" pic several posts below) tried to kill herself yesterday, and she has been understandably upset over that. He thinks he's showing compassion.
Part of the problem is that she can tell his feelings have changed towards her and she wants him to confirm (or deny) it, but he won't. Which leads me to this question:
If you fell out of love with your spouse, would it be better to tell him/her how you feel and end things quickly so that you could both move on, or would you keep quiet and let the relationship die slowly? In the first case it would be more hurtful to your spouse's ego, but it would get things over with quickly and you could both move on. In the second case, there would be more turmoil, but the spouse would be making the decision that they were sick of you and wouldn't suffer that hit to their ego... I just can't decide. I think it depends on each case. In my brother's, I think he should end it quickly so they could both move on. What do you think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note, looks like the Seattle peep meet was a blast! I'm super jealous, but also so happy for all who got to attend. Can't wait for more details and pictures! :)
I was quite upset (understatement) to find out he was giving her another chance. She begged him, saying she loved him and would change. She took full responsibility for everything, admitting everything he pointed out to her. By the next day, she was angry at him for "only noticing the bad things about her". She also said he was a bad person and he was narcissistic if he thought he could do better than her. (ha!)
I knew it was only a matter of time until she would have another blow up and he would then feel justified in leaving her. So today, she not only went off on him verbally, she also physically tried to prevent him from walking out of the fight by grabbing and ripping his shirt. She left a very defined (four finger) scratch down the back of his neck. He was done. Finally!
But no. She begged and pleaded and again took all responsibility. She promised to change. I talked to him tonight, and he seems to believe she *won't* change, but feels if he gives her this "last chance", he'll then feel guiltless when he walks away. *sigh*
I don't know what to think, or who to be angry with. My brother told me he no longer loves her, he believes she is bi-polar (though she's been tested at least 4 times and says she's not) and he feels sorry for her. Part of his reason for taking her back tonight was because her cousin (pictured on the far left in the "Plastics" pic several posts below) tried to kill herself yesterday, and she has been understandably upset over that. He thinks he's showing compassion.
Part of the problem is that she can tell his feelings have changed towards her and she wants him to confirm (or deny) it, but he won't. Which leads me to this question:
If you fell out of love with your spouse, would it be better to tell him/her how you feel and end things quickly so that you could both move on, or would you keep quiet and let the relationship die slowly? In the first case it would be more hurtful to your spouse's ego, but it would get things over with quickly and you could both move on. In the second case, there would be more turmoil, but the spouse would be making the decision that they were sick of you and wouldn't suffer that hit to their ego... I just can't decide. I think it depends on each case. In my brother's, I think he should end it quickly so they could both move on. What do you think?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On another note, looks like the Seattle peep meet was a blast! I'm super jealous, but also so happy for all who got to attend. Can't wait for more details and pictures! :)
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Ding Dong, the Wicked Witch is Dead!
Can anyone guess what happened last night?
Anyone?
*waits*
Here's another clue:
*sigh of relief*
(ftr, no one actually died)
C'mon, I'll wait for three guesses, then I'll spill.
Anyone?
*waits*
Here's another clue:
*sigh of relief*
(ftr, no one actually died)
C'mon, I'll wait for three guesses, then I'll spill.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
PMS, anyone?
I think The Devil Wears Prada was a good movie, but sobbing at the end was kinda a sign I might be PMSing, lol!
So for those that suffer from PMS, tell me about it. Do you get emotional? Headaches? Bitchiness? For how long in advance?
I get a little weepy and headaches, but usually not the bitchiness. My mother always turned into a major beyotch for at least a week beforehand. We all dreaded it. The funny thing for me is, I usually don't consider it could be PMS until after the period starts, and then it hits me that THAT was why I was acting weird.
So for those that suffer from PMS, tell me about it. Do you get emotional? Headaches? Bitchiness? For how long in advance?
I get a little weepy and headaches, but usually not the bitchiness. My mother always turned into a major beyotch for at least a week beforehand. We all dreaded it. The funny thing for me is, I usually don't consider it could be PMS until after the period starts, and then it hits me that THAT was why I was acting weird.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Weekend Update
Sheesh, what a weekend. Not sure where to begin. Friday night I went to the party my friend threw. It was for another friend visiting from Alaska. I was there until after 4am, just hanging out and talking. Insanely late, considering I had a lunch date on Saturday! My lunch with my friend was nice. I could not give her as much time as I wanted to, because I still had to be ready for my brother's reception that evening.
I went to the reception that night and I'm not sure whether I would say it went well or not. I did not see my brother or his wife at all, but I did hear he got angry when she aggressively smashed cake in his face. Personally, I've never liked that tradition. If both people agree beforehand, I guess it's their own business, but in this case, he let her know how he felt, and she did it anyways. My grandmother got all upset at DB's wife and my dad was all upset at DB for making a scene. He said he should have sucked it up and laughed it off.
What about you? Are you for it or against it?
I was stressed because I had family from both sides, and friends, who didn't know anyone else. I was trying to visit with everyone and make them feel comfortable. I ended up staying there until 1am with my mother and two people who were hired, and we cleaned the whole thing. I worked my ass off. I felt like I should, since it was my brother's thing and I didn't do anything to set up.
On Sunday, I was invited to go to a lake with some friends. I didn't leave until quite late and I took DS with me, since DD was at my parent's house. By the time I got to the "lake", my friends were ready to leave. And not only that, but it wasn't even a lake, it was a river(ish) kinda thing. So I basically drove for over an hour, to turn around and drive back. I went to their house for dinner. Didn't get home tonight until after 11:30pm.
Oh, I had a question I wanted to ask everyone. Do you have a song that every time you hear, makes you pause? Something that stirs you inside, for whatever reason? I was in the middle of having a group photo taken when mine came on. Gah! What an awkward smile I had!
Here are some of the pics I got this weekend:
Friday night
The Plastics, at the reception
Me, at the reception
I went to the reception that night and I'm not sure whether I would say it went well or not. I did not see my brother or his wife at all, but I did hear he got angry when she aggressively smashed cake in his face. Personally, I've never liked that tradition. If both people agree beforehand, I guess it's their own business, but in this case, he let her know how he felt, and she did it anyways. My grandmother got all upset at DB's wife and my dad was all upset at DB for making a scene. He said he should have sucked it up and laughed it off.
What about you? Are you for it or against it?
I was stressed because I had family from both sides, and friends, who didn't know anyone else. I was trying to visit with everyone and make them feel comfortable. I ended up staying there until 1am with my mother and two people who were hired, and we cleaned the whole thing. I worked my ass off. I felt like I should, since it was my brother's thing and I didn't do anything to set up.
On Sunday, I was invited to go to a lake with some friends. I didn't leave until quite late and I took DS with me, since DD was at my parent's house. By the time I got to the "lake", my friends were ready to leave. And not only that, but it wasn't even a lake, it was a river(ish) kinda thing. So I basically drove for over an hour, to turn around and drive back. I went to their house for dinner. Didn't get home tonight until after 11:30pm.
Oh, I had a question I wanted to ask everyone. Do you have a song that every time you hear, makes you pause? Something that stirs you inside, for whatever reason? I was in the middle of having a group photo taken when mine came on. Gah! What an awkward smile I had!
Here are some of the pics I got this weekend:
Friday nightThe Plastics, at the reception
Me, at the reception
Thursday, July 05, 2007
Busy times
I have a lot going on right now, it seems. This Friday night is a party, Saturday is shopping and lunch with a friend of mine, and Saturday night is my brother's wedding reception. I also have family in town visiting, who I really need to make time to see. Then I have dinner plans on Tuesday night with my cousin. Oh, and an appointment this morning. *whew*
The fourth was nice. I went to my parents house and let the kids swim. My grandmother (one of the visiting relatives) came over with my uncle Lee, who I don't know too well, but got to know better after dinner. It was nice. My older brother and his (high maintenance) wife also stayed for the whole thing, so that was a pleasant surprise. Overall, a nice time.
I didn't read the thread on OT, but what did YOU all do? Do you do fireworks? I know you wouldn't have celebrated July 4th in Canada, but are fireworks legal there?
As for my last post, let's just say that I am dreading the fact that my children are reaching puberty. I am dreading the first realization that one or both *might* be aware of masturbation. I actually had a talk with DS recently and asked him point blank if he knew what it was. I could tell by the look on his face that he had not heard the term before, and we moved onto another subject before he asked. It was a talk about puberty, and body changes, and what to expect. I asked him first if he would prefer DH to talk to him, but he said he was fine with me. He is still very emotionally and physically immature (though every girl he sees now is "hot"). He has not had exposure to many other boys, so I would not be at all surprised if he hadn't learned anything yet.
At any rate, I'm just wondering, when do kids start doing it? Will I know? I'd rather not, of course, but if my son doesn't hide it well enough? Am I supposed to say something? Ack. This whole subject is uncomfortable.
The fourth was nice. I went to my parents house and let the kids swim. My grandmother (one of the visiting relatives) came over with my uncle Lee, who I don't know too well, but got to know better after dinner. It was nice. My older brother and his (high maintenance) wife also stayed for the whole thing, so that was a pleasant surprise. Overall, a nice time.
I didn't read the thread on OT, but what did YOU all do? Do you do fireworks? I know you wouldn't have celebrated July 4th in Canada, but are fireworks legal there?
As for my last post, let's just say that I am dreading the fact that my children are reaching puberty. I am dreading the first realization that one or both *might* be aware of masturbation. I actually had a talk with DS recently and asked him point blank if he knew what it was. I could tell by the look on his face that he had not heard the term before, and we moved onto another subject before he asked. It was a talk about puberty, and body changes, and what to expect. I asked him first if he would prefer DH to talk to him, but he said he was fine with me. He is still very emotionally and physically immature (though every girl he sees now is "hot"). He has not had exposure to many other boys, so I would not be at all surprised if he hadn't learned anything yet.
At any rate, I'm just wondering, when do kids start doing it? Will I know? I'd rather not, of course, but if my son doesn't hide it well enough? Am I supposed to say something? Ack. This whole subject is uncomfortable.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Masturbation
*steps back into smut shoes*
*waits for everyone's response*
(ok, I DO actually have something in mind regarding this, but I kinda wanted to see what kind of comments I'd get, first)
P.S. This post was brought to you in honor of Nutz's newfound ho-ness
*waits for everyone's response*
(ok, I DO actually have something in mind regarding this, but I kinda wanted to see what kind of comments I'd get, first)
P.S. This post was brought to you in honor of Nutz's newfound ho-ness
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