Have you ever...

• wondered if you really loved someone?
• fell out of love?
• fell back into love with someone?
• tangibly felt your love for someone grow?

I'm also wondering about people we "unconditionally" love. Can those change? Will you always love your child, or mother, no matter what? Will they love you no matter what? What if you question everything, because for whatever reason, you simply don't trust your answers? How can someone ever be *really* sure about this stuff?

And if this is all too deep for a Friday, tell me this; is it true that one can now wear brown and black, together? I thought that was a fashion faux paus!?

request

Don't you hate it when you finally get to a point where you think you can finally relax and breath a little bit when Wham! More shittiness comes your way. I am too tired to blog about it, and frankly, don't want to get all worked up more than I have already been, so I guess I'm just asking for some *hugs*. Please?

And while you're at it, will someone please grab my ass, too?

Friday Night Hell (long story)

My day started with me preparing for my night out with the girls (and plastics). I had to return some shoes I bought because when I got them home, I realized that they were defective. One shoe had toe cleavage and the other did not.


Which begs the question: toe cleavage, yes or no? I think not.


So I drove all the way back to the store (which took me 30 minutes each way) and got the last pair they had. Fortunately, they were good. :)


That evening, I curled my hair and got ready. I had bought new jewelry to wear and was almost excited about going. My brother had called me at one point and asked if I could maybe drive his wife to the place, since he was going to bring the guys and meet up with us later. I called them right before it was time to go but did not get an answer. Finally, my mom called me and said that my brother's friend Clint had been waiting at the house for 40 minutes to get my DB, but he finally told him to just go on his own. Something was up. *sigh*


My friends and I decided to just head to the restaurant because we knew there were reservations there, and did not want to stand up Cheryl's friends, even though we are not at all close with them. We were there at 8:30. By 9:30, we decided to go sit down and start without the "bachelorette". The guys were calling us periodically for updates on my brothers whereabouts. They were all pretty pissed because they'd been waiting for him since 6:30.


We finally received word that the new married couple would be coming straight to the place the girls were at, and that the boys should meet him there. Half the guys just left, completely disgusted by the fact that they'd been dissed by their friend. Their wives (my friends) were also pretty pissed about it.


Cheryl's friends readily acknowledged that this was the type of stunt that she regularly pulls. Her reason for being so late was something between being upset about her uncle's death (a few weeks ago) to 'not feeling well'. I am not sure why my brother didn't just leave her high-maintenance ass at home, but whatever.

Most the women were fine and were just carrying on without the guest of honor, but at one point, my friend Jenn decided to go off on ME about my brother's rudeness. A couple friends were asking her to please stop it, and that it was inappropriate. I was beyond pissed and sat there across from her, avoiding eye contact, and not saying anything for a while. Finally she said to me that we needed to go "have a talk" and to please go with her. I shot back at her saying, "if you want to tell me what an asshole my brother is again, that's ok, I heard you the first time". She was shocked by that, as I don't usually get that snarky, but then she excused herself and went to the bathroom and cried.

Oh! And one of the bride's "friends" completely bashed her to me saying how she will leave my brother within a year because she is mental and cannot commit. She had lots to say about her, and it was all bad. I finally asked her to stop and said I wanted to form my own opinion about her.

So far, the evening sucked ass!

When the guys and my brother and Cheryl arrived, things got worse. One of the guys was fighting with his wife Ashley who was seated next to me and basically the only person I was talking to. She looked like she was going to cry the rest of the time. At some point, dinner was over and it was time to get to the 'Club' part of the place. To my surprise, most my friends wanted to go in and dance. They all had partners and were in pretty good moods by then. I'm sure the drinking helped. Since I was *not* drinking, I was the token party pooper, I guess. *shrug*

I have to admit, I'd never been to a place like this before. You have to check the link and look at the pictures of the place. I spent the evening in the place titled "decadent outdoor lounging". It's the last pic in the slideshow, I think. Anyhow, I was completely out of my comfort zone and wanted to leave. I sat there people watching for a long time, just playing with my cell phone. I met two men, one who was "looking for his soul mate". I asked him if he thought he was going to meet her there. *snort* It was ridiculous. The other guy was named Carmel, like the city, not the candy. He was wearing a lavender fedora, I believe.

At any rate, by about 1am I met up with my group. I'll add a pic of us. I did not realize I had my camera until the very end, and felt like an idiot. I would have loved to get a group shot of everyone. I would have loved to show you the former model who is now only 39 but because of all the work she's had, looks somewhere between 35-50. Very strange. And every single woman that was friends with Cheryl had fake boobs, lol! Is it really that common now?

I found out later that my brother was kicked out because he was wearing tennis shoes. He protested because his were black and other people there were wearing white tennis shoes. How sad for him. *smirk*



Then his wife stumbled and stepped into broken glass, so they spent the rest of the night in the ER. I saw her injury the next night and almost laughed. It was a scratch on her toe. Didn't even need a band-aid!



So that was my wonderful night. I eventually made up with Jennifer. In this pic, it's (from left to right) Krissi, Alex, me and Justin.

The Plastics

Remember Mean Girls? Remember The Plastics? Well, I? I am going out with some "plastics" on Friday night. I am not at all sure about it, but at least I have a few of my friends going with me. We're going to some ritzy club place and I think I know what I'm wearing, but need your input. So far, I have some black Bermuda shorts (which are cuffed and seem dressy), a gold(ish) tank and a black short sleeved fitted blazer. And black high heels. I am clueless as to what color jewelry to pair with this outfit. Also, is that dressy enough? I don't want to wear slacks or a skirt, and I'm not fond of capris on me. My SIL will be wearing a leopard print spandex dress and I have no idea what her friends will be wearing. I'm guessing the kind of clothes you see in nightclubs. There will obviously be two different "types" at this thing. Most these girls are size "0" and have implants. And honestly, there is nothing wrong with that...but the whole nightclub scene... ? not for me, or my friends. But this was put together as SIL's Bachelorette party and she didn't want to cancel so now it's just a girls night out, I guess.

I went to Target (and Kohl's, and Mervyn's and Famous Footwear) tonight to get some new shoes for it. The heels I love are too big for me and it's annoying to walk in them. I did see jewelry that looked promising though, there was some colored stuff with gold accents, and thought maybe I needed a big splash of color. What do you think? What color would pick? I thought the purple (plum) colors were pretty with the gold.

P.S. to Jen, I added the two other pics. The "smiling" one of me will be removed shortly. And after looking at it again, I guess it's not a huge smile or anything, but I hate the cheeky look. *sigh* (it's the picture with another Jenn)

P.S.S. Whenever I go to dictionary.com and type a word in, the first ad on the page says, "are you stupid?". I feel insecure every single time I see it, as if it's trying to tell me I spelled the word wrong. MM <--idiot?

Need to know...

I was rummaging through my purse and I noticed I have started collecting gum, apparently. I have Orbit White, in Bubble mint, Trident Splash in Peppermint Vanilla, and Trident White in Cool Colada. I prefer the Trident Splash, but like the smaller size of the Orbit gum. I chew gum everyday, several times a day. For one, it's as good as an appetite suppressant (IMO) especially at night, and I feel my teeth are cleaner if I chew everyday.

How about you? Do you chew and if so, how often? What do you chew?

P.S. 4 New pics over there ----------> (well, down there, I guess)

One word thingy...

1. Where is your cell phone?
On the charger

2. You're single/taken?
Taken

3. Your hair?
Dark!

4. Your mother?
completelyobnoxiousandnosy

5. Your father?
Adored

6. Your favorite thing?
twins (mine)

7. Your dream last night?
Wow!

8. Your favorite drink?
Water

9. Your dream car?
*shrug* <--Jen's answer

10. The room you're in?
Living room

11. Your ex?
None

12. Your fear?
Water

13. Where were you last night?
Home

14. what you're not?
Relaxed

15. Muffins?
Sometimes

16. One of your wish list items?
Pedicure

17. The last thing you did?
Babysit

18.What are you wearing?
Nightie

19. Your pet or pets?
Opposites

20. Your computer?
Fast

21. Your life?
Bleh

22. Your mood?
Exhausted

23. Missing some one?
Usually

24. Your car?
Avalon

25. Your work?
incomplete

26.Like someone?
Yes

27. Your favorite color?
Blue

28. When is the last time you laughed real hard?
Yesterday

29. Crush's first name?
Jen

30. Dream job?
Cryptozoologist :P

Speaking of family drama...

*sigh*

Umm, there's no rule about being constantly depressing in blogland is there? Because I want to stick around, but this is getting ridiculous. So...DB has been in Tahoe since Saturday night, but called my mom today and basically asked if he and his new bride could live with my parents while they "save money". They had rented a place out in the country already that was a fantastic (almost unheard of) deal, but they are letting it go now. Am I wrong to be pissed that they want to mooch off my parents? Ugh. This whole thing makes me sick, and it makes me sicker because I HATE being judgmental. So it goes against everything in me to be mad at him for something that is *his right* to do. Of course, my parents have the "right" to say no to him, too. But how likely is that? I'll let you know later in the day when I find out...


And since I'm here ranting *grin* I'll just get it all out now. Another thing I hate? I hate parents who can not and will not accept that their children are flawed. I hate it when the parents are passive aggressive, but completely slink away when you invite them to have an adult conversation. Taking your child's side is a wonderful thing, when warranted, but frankly, it's not always the right thing to do. And before you do it, perhaps trying a tiny bit to make sure you have facts straight would be helpful?

This all comes from a mom who let her daughter miss the promotion party because she insisted she had been "uninvited". When I provided proof that she had NOT been uninvited (and in fact, encouraged to come) she glossed over it (well, completely ignored it, actually) and tried to hint that it was some other reason that was everyone else's fault, and not her precious Maddi's. *groan* Poor kid. I finally wrote, " I am not sure what you are implying here, but as the adults, I prefer a direct approach. If you'd like to share more, feel free to do so." she has not responded. After hearing another mom talk about her, I guess this is her M.O. It's too bad because I really like her daughter a lot.

FTR, when I approached my DD with all this, I went into it completely undecided as to what her level of guilt was. I try really hard not to assume my children are above reproach. None of them are, IMO. Fortunately, Jess is a good girl and until now, had never been accused of anything like this, so it was not hard to understand what had happened. In the end, nobody was at fault except the girl's mother. She should have stepped up and taught her DD how to handle misunderstandings.

So a big fat F U to the mom who is socially retarding her brilliant child by not teaching her communication or coping skills. She'll probably be very successful when she grows up, but will she have any friends? *sigh*

P.S. Please forgive this entry for it's scatter-brained presentation. I've edited several times and even removed an entire tirade about people who are judgmental and gossip. Maybe another day...nah, who needs more of that right now?

P.S.S. How about I share a couple of pics to make my blog not so "blah" right now...

I love this one of Jess, taken after she read whatever my dad wrote in her graduation card.

Ahh yes. The one of my kids after getting Starbucks gift cards from my brother (and look! his wife too!). What a dork. They don't go to Starbucks!

Finally, the promotion swim party. Some of the kids are hiding in the hot tub and not pictured. There were not many kids there, but chaperoning pre-teens was a hard job! Oh, and notice the ground all wet? That's because my DB overfilled the pool that morning, *snort*!

Oh the drama! (long post ahead)

I have much to blog about, including my kids promotion and promotion swim party. But before I can get into any of that, let me tell you about Saturday night. My older brother, the one who is engaged, had a long discussion on Friday night, with his fiance "Cheryl" about whether they should postpone the wedding. It was her idea, based on some pretty legit reservations, such as her not knowing his children very well and him not having a steady income. His new business is just getting off the ground and not reliable enough to support a family. I'll not mention that she grew up in mansions and her family is wealthy. I won't mention it because that might give the impression that money will be important to her (and really, most people *do* want stability, so fair is fair).

Anyhow, she decides that July 7th is too soon and perhaps they should wait until January. Well, all day on Saturday I wanted to check on my brother, knowing he would probably be feeling pretty down about this, but I held back because I didn't want to push him. I found out from my mom that his DF was with him and the kids for most the day, just hanging out. So I was kinda confused...my dad thought she was trying to back out, as did I, really. But whatever. I was glad they were together. I did not hear anything else until late that night when my mom called me and said my dad was angry because DB was not home and it was after 11pm (he had his kids for the weekend, which is why it was upsetting to my dad). I sorta defended DB by saying that all parents have kept kids out late and depending on what they are doing, it doesn't kill them. Mine were out until midnight when we went to Disneyland, and they were only barely 5.

Moving on...around Midnight, I get a text message from my brother. It says, "If mom and dad get worried, tell them I am ok but I won't be back until Monday." He follows that with, "Tell them I did what I had to do."

I immediately texted him back with, "So you're eloping?" halfway joking, the other half seriously alarmed. He writes back that "yes, we are." He then asks me not to tell them until the next day. *sigh* So I know my mom is not sleeping because she has no idea where he is, or where his kids are. Let's just skip over the fact that he is 33 years old and my parents are acting like he's a child.

So, I did as he asked, and kept it to myself until this morning. I didn't sleep much, knowing that this was not going to go over well with the family. Oh, and his kids had been dropped off at his former MIL's house somewhere along the way.

I finally told my mom and she reacted pretty calmly, and not that surprised. Not surprised only because this kind of move is typical for my idiotic DB, whom I adore and love unconditionally, of course. I have no idea how Cheryl's valid concerns from the day before had all dissipated, but somehow, they had. They met in April, remember. She lost her uncle, and has been so involved in that family tragedy and planning her wedding, that none of us, including his children, really know her that well. They did come to my kids promotion lunch on Thursday and I noticed she not only ordered several strong drinks, but she was unhappy with two of them and sent them back. That's fine I guess, but not typical of my family's behaviour when we go out.

So in summation, WTF? Are they as stupid as I fear? To top it all off, I found out today that she did not want him telling anyone and he told me secretly. So after telling my mom, who obviously told my dad, who reacted by calling DB's DW's mom *rolls eyes*, it came out to her (Cheryl) that *I* was how they all found out. She was less than happy, and was confused as to how I knew. DB did not admit that he told me himself, so now I look like a big mouthed busybody, which really pisses me off. Should I tell her the truth and cause a problem in their already *not looking so great marriage* or take the hit and let her get over it? *sigh*

All of this after some unusual drama at the kids swim party on Friday. I'll have to vent about that one later in the week.

The one positive note? At least their wedding date is on the 10th and not the 9th.

MM <--serious aversions to the number 9

Is it Blonde, or Blond?

Top 5 Pet Peeves



5. Threadjacking. Hello, can you say rude?

4. Blaming crap on other people. Stand up and admit it when you've done something childish, or embarrassing.

3. Bad drivers. If you're driving, you should know where you're going. Getting lost is a PITA and wastes my time, when I get stuck behind you.

2. Not welcoming newbies. C'mon people, when a new person pops onto OT, say hello, welcome them, hell, ask them to start a blog. It's just plain clique-ish not to. We should assume they are good, quality people worth our time and not waste one minute sizing them up. It's not fair to them. /rant

1. *pooting* Very unladylike. Should never be done in the presence of other people, ever! I abhor bodily function humor, and find it tasteless. Let's grow up already!

Important Stuff

1. Why are the hot men of OT all gay? WTF? *pout* I guess on the plus side, we have a hot lesbian, but that doesn't do me much good, does it? *double pout*

2. When I make this typo --> "ANd", it really bugs me. I mean, really bugs me. A lot. Something about it looks annoying. Ugh. I don't even want to leave it there.

3. Speaking of saying rude things, I said something rude today to my brother, and it caused a fight. We never fight. It sucked. What I said? Well, while deciding who to invite for my parents tiny anniversary dinner, he said he wanted to invite his soon-to-be in-laws. I said no because they are not close with my parents and have never been. I then added that "if his girlfriend isn't grown up enough to understand that, it's her problem". He did not like that. But, I happen to know that that is why he wanted to invite them, since she would take offense if we didn't. Too effing bad. We are having their kids, (myself and two brothers) our spouses, and two other couples. Not enough people to slyly add in two more who are not close to them, IMHO. Was I out of line?

4. One of my new favorite songs is "Not Big", by Lily Allen. Here is the song (I could only find it on youtube because I suck at doing the song link thing. The "slideshow" is cheesy (beyond cheesy, really. Prolly should only listen, and not watch it, lol), but I do like the song and lyrics. :) Oh, here are the lyrics, too. For the heck of it, I'll add the link to her Smile video, which is more popular right now. Here it is. Must be awful to be one of her exes, LOL!

5. *smooches* everyone! <--very important!

8 Randoms

Thanks for tagging me MTW! <--not a random

1. I saw a wild brown bear this weekend. It was rummaging for food on the side of a mountain road. I now realize my parents were always lying to me when they said bears don't come out during the day. It was 2:30pm.

2. On the same road, I saw a car accident. A truck drove off the road and went down a deep ravine. Fortunately, a large boulder stopped it from crashing into the river. Everyone appeared to be ok.

3. I spent the night in the most disgusting "lodge" I could ever imagine. The small town I went to was all booked up, and it was the only place left. My dad reserved it, so I felt obligated to stay there. I barely slept and could not even shower there. Nothing was newer than 35 years old. Plus I saw two spiders in the room. Even the "nicer" place is somewhere I would never have wanted to stay in, but our relatives house where we normally stay was hosting a wedding, and we assumed they'd be full.

4. My brothers fiance is what inspired the "rude comment" question in the last post. They were out to dinner and the couple at the next table had a crying baby. The people were not doing anything to hush the baby, and I guess she kept looking over at them. The dad finally smiled and said, "sorry about the crying" and "Cheryl" said back, "it's ok, you're just ruining our dinner!". {insert gaping mouth} I actually understand how annoying it must have been, and I know she just lost a family member (the motorcycle rider I blogged about), but still, her comment was shocking and just plain rude. So many other ways to deal with it. What do you think?

5. These randoms are taking way longer than I expected.

6. The day after my cousin's wedding, she came back to her parents house to say goodbye before leaving for the honeymoon. Because the bride and groom had both "saved themselves" for marriage, there were some childish comments (made mostly by the bride's younger sister) involving how she was acting funny, (ok, walking funny) or whatever. By the time the bride came into the house, I had composed myself so as to act normal, and not make her feel uncomfortable. The first thing out of the newlywed's mouth? "Man, I got ATE last night!". Then she paused and added, "by mosquitoes". I have no idea if she knows how hard it was for me not to laugh. I just totally agreed with her and pretended not to notice how it could have been interpreted.

7. I got two mosquito bites at the wedding. :)

8. I wish this week was over already. Every day is going to be busy in preparation of my kids promotion from 6th grade. Might not be commenting much, but I will be reading!