- wondered if you really loved someone?
- fell out of love?
- fell back into love with someone?
- tangibly felt your love for someone grow?
I'm also wondering about people we "unconditionally" love. Can those change? Will you always love your child, or mother, no matter what? Will they love you no matter what? What if you question everything, because for whatever reason, you simply don't trust your answers? How can someone ever be *really* sure about this stuff?
And if this is all too deep for a Friday, tell me this; is it true that one can now wear brown and black, together? I thought that was a fashion faux paus!?
19 comments:
I realized from my marriage that save my college boyfriend, I've never been truly in love before DH. I guess I always confused it with infatuation and lust. I truly, truly, completely love my husband and yes, I feel my love grow for him all the time.
Not sure on the whole brown and black thing. I don't wear brown.
I am also not a brown wearer in general. I see a lot of 80s fashions with the summer interns on campus and it makes me gag.
My ex and I fell out of love. You reach a point where you're fighting all the time, but clinging to the belief that you should hold on to something that isn't there anymore because you've been together for so long...
I will always unconditionally love my family. My brother may drive me crazy sometimes, but I do love him.
You can never really be sure, you can just go with how you feel.
I might be a bit too analytical for my own good. I don't really trust feelings.
I've mentioned this before, but Mr Bob and I spent a lot of our undergrad apart in 4 month increments. I wasn't going to cheat, but I wasn't "not looking" either. I figured that if I found someone whose company I enjoyed more than Mr Bob's then perhaps Mr Bob and I should split up.
I never met anyone who made me feel as comfortable and as challanged. After about 5 years, I decided that this was it.
As for love growing? I feel it grow when we do something together. Or when he buys me expensive presents!
I wear black and brown together.
But I also wear brown and pink together, so you can use that to decide whether I have any right to offer fashion opinions.
Right now I'm wearing black, brown AND pink.
But I don't plan to leave my house.
These colour choices are just freaking me out!
Frodis is such a fashion statement!
Yes, I've heard it true, and seen it, that black and brown will go together... but me?? Not gonna do it. I don't even do the brown and pink together thing.
Everything else is definitely too deep for a Friday! I'm not terribly analytical!
DH and I went through a period where I didn't think I was in love with him anymore. And we separated (this was before we were married). And then we got back together and fell back in love.
I think this grows every day, even though I don't always realize it.
I cannot imagine not loving my child. But I also know what it's like to not love your mother, so I guess it's possible. The only thing that I can do is to believe in the relationship Conner and I have and to nurture it and work to make sure we don't allow it to crumble.
I am wearing brown and khaki today. I would probably not wear brown and black together, just as I wouldn't wear black and navytogether. Nor would I wear Khaki and gray.
I think black & brown go together just fine. I love black & brown ethnic prints, for instance. I'll wear a brown top with black pants and think nothing of it. The only thing I would avoid is brown shoes with a black outfit. I think that looks funny.
On the heavy stuff:
Yes, I have wondered. I now believe that if you have to wonder then the answer is "no" You don't really love them.
Yes. Falling out of love leaves a total vacuum. You wonder what the heck you ever saw in that person!
Yes, but not romantically. My father died when I was in my teenage angst years and I was not liking him at all. It took a few years but I now realize what an outstanding father he was and I wish he were here so I could tell him that I loved him.
Yes. I always think I couldn't love Tom more - but then I do. *repeat*
Jury is still out on the unconditional love thing, sadly with my oldest daughter. She is so quick and unforgiving in judging me and does not look into her mirror of unvarnished reality often enough.
I always question everything because that's where answers come from.
I have wondered if a love was really love or just infatuation.
I have fallen out of love.
Never fallen back in love.
Have felt my love for someone grow.
In some cases, I think unconditional love can change.
I will always love my parents and brother, unconditionally.
I think at this point, their love for me would not change.
I don't think anyone can ever be sure. so we go with what feels right.
I love brown and black together.
The rest I don't have time to answer now.
I wouldn't wear solid black with solid brown. I might wear a black print shirt with solid light brown pants.
Love is interesting. I wonder if you can fall out of love, or if what you feel is falling out of love is an indication that you were never in love in the first place. I've had THAT realization (that I was never truly in love in the first place).
I *have* really loved someone, and I *have* felt it become deeper.
Unconditional love? I think you can grow to love someone unconditionally and that won't change, such as a parent or a child, but they can do things that you detest so much that it sickens you to the point you wouldn't want anything to do with them anymore. If your child became a pedophile, you might still love them, but it would be overpowered by your feelings of anger and disgust at their behavior. The *love* for them would make the other feelings worse as a matter of fact.
I've fallen out of love, without a doubt. Never back in love with someone though. Take my ex husband, as an example. I loved him, in my 18-19-20 year old way. I came to hate him, but in a fvcked up way, I will always care deeply about him just because he gave me the two most precious things in my life - the Rottens.
I can also say, I am not sure unconditional love exists in its purest, truest form. Part of me will always love my children, no matter what they do. As my dad. But that doesn't mean I have to like the person they become as time passes or agree with what they do.
And...in all honesty, you HAVE to trust yourself and your feelings and not question how much or how deep they are. You can't make yourself love someone, or change your feelings about a person if they are not what you want them to be. You can only be sure about today and how you feel in the moment. There is no way to examine the future and know what will happen.
As for black and brown...I dunno.
"I wonder if you can fall out of love, or if what you feel is falling out of love is an indication that you were never in love in the first place. I've had THAT realization (that I was never truly in love in the first place)."
I've had the same thought. It's a confusing circle.
Okay, I skipped the love stuff earlier.
I've wondered, in retrospect, whether I really loved someone. (Romantic love.) I've almost always decided that yes, I did, with what I understood about love at the time. But each experience taught me something about love, so the me-now wouldn't necessarily love the them-then. (Does that make sense?)
Fell back into love? I don't think so. I'm a bridge-burner.
Tangibly felt love grow? Yes. The love I had for my husband at the beginning of our relationship is totally different from what it is now. I know him a lot better. For better and for worse.
Unconditional love - yes, I have it for my family and a few friends. I don't always like them but I'll always love them.
I'm never sure about anything. That's why I usually don't commit to writing down deep stuff. I think it, all the time, but writing (typing) it puts a sort of permanance on it that I can't stand. I reserve the right to be wrong.
Oh, and addendum. When I wear black and brown together I always wear black shoes.
I never wear black and blue together.
*Wondered if I really loved someone?
NO.
*Fell out of love/back in love
No
*felt love grow
Yes. Quite recently too with DH. Deeper, outward and inward. We have reconnected wehn I did not even think we really disconnected.
With children too, with my first I did love her from the beginning but I had no understanding of that love really, I think. However with each day it grew like nothing else. With the other two that love was there from the beginning because I knew. Does that make any sense to other parents?
*I will always love them.
In fact I think I will ditto Ms. Froody cause she said exactly what I feel. Even about brown, pink and black. Even about the shoes. And even about navy and black. I think you were thinking about blue and black and not brown.
Tell me do you think Bigfoot is red, brown or black? Streaks or highlights?
yes
yes
yes
yes
I may not believe a lot of things. I may not be sure of some of the things I want to believe. I do believe in love. I believe that love can indeed be unconditional but what people think is unconditional may not always be. I believe you can fall in and out of love and that yes, you can feel your love growing for somebody. Love hurts. Especially for dreamers. Sometimes I will look at Shawn and my heart just feels like it's going to explode. Sometimes a hug from somebody can take your breath away. Sometimes a smile or a kiss on the cheek can overwhelm your heart. That's gotta be love and I believe it is.
Really loved? Yes
Fell out of love? Yes
Felt my love grow? Yes, and I have to say after all these years and thinking the other stuff was love... man did I miss out.
Unconditional love? I think you can, but that doesn't mean you have to like that person.
The really sure part is the part I've always struggled with. I'm working on that everyday.
*smooch*
To quote Tina Turner "whats love got to do with it?"
Some others have stated how I feel about unconditional love, momma and mtw thank you, you both said it wonderfully.
I love my mom because she is my mom. I don't necessiary like her as a person. As for my children, I will always love them unconditionally. It would take what mtw described for me to turn my back on them.
As for falling in and out of love, I believe I have been experiencing that within my marriage over the last 2 years. I think love can grow and change in different forms.
Thank you all for your thoughtful responses. I guess I've had love (in all forms) on my mind a lot lately. One thing I agree on, I could never (ever) not love my kids. That question regarding family members was about my mother. That's a topic for another day. *sigh*
*smooches everyone*
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