MIL Horrors

Where to begin? At the beginning? Alright, I met my mother-in-law when I was about 7. She scared the crap out of me, as she was a big, loud, mean assistant at my school, often doing yard duty. She was weird, and even at 7, I knew that. Fast forward 10 years. Hadn't given her a thought since I was in elementary school. Met DH, put two and two together, and realized with horror, who his mother was. Well, after getting to know DH, and learning more about her, I cannot believe he is not a serial killer, or worse (not sure there is something worse, but if there was, she could drive somebody to it). She is perverted, which is fine, I suppose, if it weren't creepy perverted. Examples? When DH was a boy (young teenager, I guess) she bought him and his friends porn. She encouraged it. She sewed (crocheted) these little warmers, that were for their...umm, you know. Like socks, but not for their feet. Gross! She would buy him and his friends birthday cards with naked women, every year. This is all stuff I found out pretty quickly.

Later, I found out more, witnessed more, disturbing stuff. Her husband...oh my goodness. What can I say about him? He is the creepiest man I've EVER met in my life. As in, I'd rather die than let my kids be left unattended with him. I almost die when they are around him with me around. She brought some "cartoons" she thought were so funny. IMO, it was borderline child porn. It was a drawing of two babies, a boy and a girl, the boy is crying really hard, the girl is content. Why? Because she had taken his pacifier and uh, placed it somewhere. *gag* Fortunately, they don't stay with us at our home anymore, after we got rid of the guest room, so the kids could have separate bedrooms. One time we got home from the store, back when they did stay with us, before we really knew her husband that well, and he told us that they had been switching the TV channels back and forth, trying to get a glimpse of the porn channel (that we didn't subscribe to). He started mimicking the sounds they heard. That? Is not normal behavior. He reminds me of Michael Jackson, actually, in a weird way.

I could go on and on, the stories are endless. One of the last things I heard from my ex-SIL was that my MIL was complaining about how I "changed" her son. How (her words) "he was so cool before he met Tab, he had long hair, smoked pot, drank beer and played pool all the time. She changed him". Yeah, no shit. That's what having kids and getting married will do to you dumbass. Ugh! She pisses me off so badly. Oh and guess what? We got our Christmas presents from her...(this is me, sounding like an ungrateful bitch) I got maple syrup. Yep. She loves me! She also asked the kids if the wicked stepmother photograph they got at Disneyland, was me. Right in front of me.

What she doesn't know, is that whenever DH calls her, or the kids write her, or we email her, it's because I push it. Because I don't want to hurt her feelings. She has no idea how many times DH is ready to write her off, and I tell him he can't, because she is his mother, after all. *sigh* I guess I'm just waiting for her to give me a good enough reason, once and for all.

Go ahead. I challenge you. Top THAT!