And I think it's hilarious! Tonight, bless his heart, he gave me a (almost) full body massage. It is during that time when I fully realize how much I love him (in a purely selfish way). Anyhow, so I was on the living room floor, trying to watch Earl and trying not to fall asleep as he did his work. All I had asked was for him to pop me, but he knew what I wanted, I guess. So afterwards, as we were laying on the floor, kinda watching The Office, I asked him a very personal question. He was mortified! I think, since we've been married for almost 10 years, and together for longer, he should tell me anything I want to know. He would not do it! I told him that withholding that information was grounds for divorce in some countries, and that I had a right to know. I acted very serious about it, and even acted hurt when he wouldn't tell me. Of course, on the inside, I was laughing my ass off, because he was so uncomfortable and I derive some sort of sick pleasure from torturing him I guess. Especially after he so lovingly massaged me for half an hour. In the end, he'd had enough and headed to our room. I followed him a few minutes later and told him I came in there to give him another chance, or at the very least, to apologize to me. I even started for him, saying, "I owe Tab an apology because I didn't rub her feet" and, " I owe Tab an apology for storming off to our room after withholding very important information that she needs to know". He didn't bite. He is so stubborn. *grin* So in the end, I think I was a bitch, and he thinks I'm a brat, (not a bitch because he doesn't know how calculated it all is, otherwise he definitely would think I am a bitch). And I? Feel almost giddy about torturing him. If he hadn't gotten laid, I would feel bad, but I *live* for opportunities to make myself laugh. He needs to lighten up a bit, I think.
::Read no further if you are in the prude category::
All I wanted to know was where does his, um, stuff, go after he takes care of himself. His hand? Does he have a tissue ready? In the shower? Was I out of line?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
44 comments:
Well of course you are evil!
Ummm, I think the problem is that men feel this stuff is a secret. Like we don't know they do it. You must've embarassed him.
I don't think you were out of line. After all, what he does with it might have been a big turn on for you. *grin*
I don't think that was anything for him to get all uptight about. You weren't out of line at all.
Evil Woman Story (I got this today and read it, then went to your blog and I don't know. From you title I just thought they went hand and hand and I would share it with you)
*hugs*
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident on a
snowy, cold
Monday morning; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are
totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are
hurt. God works in mysterious ways. After they crawl
out of their cars, the woman says, "So....you’re a
man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look
at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and
be friends and live together in peace for the rest of
our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you
completely, this must be a sign from God!
The woman continues, "And look at this, here's
another miracle. My car is completely demolished but
this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us
to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune".
Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and
drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the
woman. The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts
the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No, I think I'll just wait for
the police..."
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are evil.
Don't mess with them
LMAO. That? is funny. Very funny.
Sonya, that is a great story.
MM, I figured they just used it for hair gel.
Bwahahahahahaha! That is funny.
I think he should have told you. It's a legitimate question.
Now what would be evil is if we all asked, then posted the results. THAT is evil.
Eric does think it's inappropriate, though.
Which is too bad, really, because I already know.
*evil laugh*
Anyone watch Nip Tuck? They used it for anti aging cream.
Is that why you all look so young? LOL!
This is making me think that it is now Mr Bob's job to clean the shower from now on.
Ladies, what we do with that stuff is secret. We are taught in gym class in the fifth grade - you know, during the time the girls are taken separately for their "talk".
I can promise you do NOT want to stumble into the answer!
Oh, and did everybody else miss the entire point of the post which was MM trying to convince us that she's pure evil?
Did anyone further notice that MM said she got laid but didn't tell us if it was on the floor in front of the TV during the massage or in the bedroom after the massage? It was *almost* a full body massage, which sounds like code for no sex involved, but later we learn he didn't rub her feet!
So, are we left to assume he never got down to the feet? :-)
OMG, you are all making me laugh so much! :D
MTW, I actually *did* kinda get a foot massage, but I won't say when or where. *evil grin*
All I had asked was for him to pop me...
No-one has commented about this statement. It is quite crude.
My DH would like me to believe that he never does that. I have asked a similar question in the past.
But yes, it is quite true that you are evil for tormenting your poor husband. Meanie.
You are right, Seana. That is quite crude.
And very out of character for MM.
I am very disapointed in the increasing level of crudeness and smut in blogland.
MM,
Stay evil. Maybe you can get more out of it. LOL!
I'm a prude, so there's no way I read any of this.
Michelle and I will answer any question that we have for each other. We're very open that way. I can't think of any question, no matter how personal, that I wouldn't answer if she asked and I'm pretty sure vice versa.
I know Max and I answer all those kind of questions. We are so comfortable with one another that it is just okay.
You are talking about toothpaste right?
You popped? I didn't even know you were pregnant. *grin*
LOL! You are evil. I? Could die happy not knowing mr light's answer to that question.
A friend of mine once had one of those *toy* parties and invited her SIL. The lady selling the stuff asked everyone to share one of their favorite sexual things with everyone. My friend was mortified with the mental picture she got when her SIL answered how she loved watching her hubby (my friend's brother) pleasuring himself. She's still trying to block that image from her mind. I take great pleasure in reminding her of it every once in a while. *evil grin*
Oh good grief, who really has the dirty minds here? Pop me? Ya know, my back! *rolls eyes*
Yes, Zombs, we are talking about toothpaste.
Lights, FTR, I could die happy without knowing, too. I just wanted to make him squirm.
They really are too easy to mess with. :D
Did you brush your teeth yet?
Do you think Coco had the baby? She has not posted since last night!!!!
Did you have a baby? You have not posted since last night!
Argggg! Everyone is in labor but me!
Oh for cryingoutloud.
*whacks Zombs*
Okay. I'm not blog jacking, but I just seen the funniest blog when browising. It is http://whatsupchuck.blogspot.com/. If you want to copy and paste. This guy has been having half naked Thurs for the past year and has posted his favorite top (4) pics on the blog for the new year. They are hiliarious. I just had to share. LOL! I figure MM would find these funny too. They really aren't smutty at all. LOL!
Yes Zombs, I brushed. Dork.
Funny blog, Sonya. He has quite the imagination.
I had this funny feeling you would enjoy it. LOL!
Twister time!
Oh I see MM already has stripped and is playing!
*spins*
left hand yellow!
*spins*
right foot red
ahhhhhhhhhhh... I've missed the smut.
*spins*
Right boob green!
*giggles @ MM*
MM - somehow your butt ended up in my face. Please don't let one.
LOL!
*spins*
Left hand green
It is a secret that must be kept!
MM, I had right hand green. Now your boob is brushing up against my arm.
Oddly, I am both aroused and embarrassed at the same time. :-)
Left leg blue!
Oh c'mon vols, you can tell us! ;-)
I think MTW is only pretending to be embarrassed, since my boob was there first! He purposely put his hand there *afterwards* just so he could cop a feel!
You are so busted MTW! *grin*
*moves his hand a little more to the right*
See what happens when the liquor flows?
All hell has broken loose! I tell ya we are gonna be in a lot of trouble when someone with some decorum gets here!
(I'll spread the plastic out in case Coco comes back)
Liquor? We are not drinking liquor here. The only thing I see is jello shots. And most of them are ending up on the floor, with me and MTW.
And who do you know that has decorum??
I certainly know no one. I just wanted to show off that I knew that word.
MTW thinks we should play Chutes and Ladders now. I had to explain that does not work online.
*sigh* men.
*snort!* Chutes and Ladders? He just wants to go down...er, nevermind.
I'm thinking Spin the Bottle might be a good game now...
Check out the Vagina Land story on Sonya's link. *giggle*
Post a Comment