anyone want to psychoanalyze me?

So after writing about my wonderful DH, let me now say he has screwed up before.
My questions are these;
Do all men look at porn? Do all men really lust after our friends?
Do they call phone sex lines? Do they secretly want more than we are willing to give?

I already said my husband is a good man. He is. He has (in my opinion) majorly screwed up 5 times in our marriage.

1st time~I thought he had stopped smoking pot right after we were married. Shortly after that he hired his old best friend to work for him and a couple months later I found his pipe, visine and a lighter hidden in our closet. (what an idiot to hide them there, really) So I confront him and he admits it. He was at work during the confrontation. So I naturally gather up his old bongs, pipes, lighters etc., and I put them in an old duffel bag. I put the bag in the trash can outside long enough to get covered in ants. Then I drive it over to his friends house and put it all in the front seat of his car. (very mature, I know) I blamed his friend which was wrong. So he swears off of it and as far as I know hasn't gone back. Sometimes I'm tempted to smoke it still, since I never had a fair shot at trying it, but I figure we're past that now and we have kids so...that's it.

2nd time~Found out he had called a phone sex thingy when I was out of town. Busted him, cried about it, threw a fit, he said he would never do it again.

3rd time~ More porn, this time he paid for it off of the cable channel. Again, when I was out of town. This time I called him some names, I threatened to leave him since I couldn't trust him. He really didn't see the connection to the phone sex thing since he thought I just didn't want him talking to someone real.

4th time~ The worst ever. I know I have womens intuition. I know it. I was ok with all the people he worked with until this one girl Jennifer was hired. I had heard of her through some friends of friends, but had never seen her. So I drive out to his work for luch one day and we are talking about all his co-workers and I say look, I know you go out to lunch with a lot of people but please don't ever go out with just her. I wouldn't like, don't trust it. He looks confused and says ok.
Weeks later, my little brother says he saw my husbands car at a restaraunt but he didn't go in to see him. So later, I casually ask him who he was at lunch with. He answers me with "Jennifer".
Then he admits he has been going to lunch with her for a while now, just the two of them. He got very defensive and said he never understood my problem with it and didn't feel like he had to make an ass of himself and tell her he had to stop, after I had asked him not to. So he continued. Sometimes they went with a group, sometimes alone. She even rode in his truck with him. I felt like he had cheated on me. He had hidden a friendship from me, because...well, why? Why was she so important that he lied to me about her? The funny thing about her was that she was going to lunch with some other married men and when their wives found out, they had to tell her they couldn't anymore. She was very friendly with all the men. Now, I kind of wonder sometimes if anything else ever happend, I don't think it did. Partly because of his defensive nature when I found out. If he had been feeling guilty, he would have been more apologetic, but he really didn't get it, didn't understand. Until of course I asked him if it was ok if I secretly went out with another man. Then he shut up and got it. It still bothers me to this day that it happend, and that was 5 years ago. We no longer have the truck but I never did get in it again. I refused to be where she was. I never even went out to see him at work again. It was very ugly at the time.

5th time~ Not so bad really. His buddy, the one who tried to get him to go to a strip club, the one we found out not long ago is sleeping with my DH's mother, came over while my MIL was in town (go figure) and the three of them went out to dinner. I had been gone all day with the kids at an amusement park. So I get home and I can tell he is buzzed. I ask him privately how much he'd had and he says 1 tall beer. I say ok, I want to put the kids to bed and join them in the living room, get a wine cooler or whatever. I come out and I can tell he is way more wasted than I thought.
Then I realize he is still drinking rum and coke as we were speaking. I couldn't believe he didn't tell me. So I go in our room when he comes in I say WTF? Why didn't you just tell me you were drunk? He started being an ass, being too loud and IMO, just being a jerk. I told him I would have loved to drink with them all but I had just needed to know where he was at mentally so I knew whether to put the kids down myself. He pissed me off by being loud enough for my MIL to know what we were talking about. So I said screw it, I'm going to bed.
I thought he would come in to talk to me and when he didn't, I was so pissed I did something I'm incredibly embarassed about. I went out our bedroom window, and was going to leave. As I was sneaking out the side of the house I realized he and his friend were outside talking. This is when I overhear his friend saying he had cheated on his wife. He didn't even say he cheated, he just talked about a hot blonde with big tits that he slept with. I guess to "cheat" you would have to feel guilt in some way. But anyways, he asked DH why I was so upset and to his credit, DH says it was his fault, he lied to me.
I still left, went to my brothers house and called DH at home, where we had an awesome fight. I swore at him, said things I never thought I would have. I say it was awesome because I do love to fight. I get a rush out of it. DH, on the other hand refuses to fight. He hates arguing at all. But that night, I let off some steam and regretfully went home, since I didn't want his mother to know I had even left. That was our last real fight, and that about 2-3 years ago.
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So now, let me clarify some things. First of all, I do not think porn is bad. In fact, it's a long time joke between DH and I that every anniversary when we go away, I want him to buy some. The thing is, I grew up not even watching ratedR movies, so porn has always been somewhat fascinating to me. Until of course I get it, and then think "what is the fuss all about..this stuff does nothing for me" But anyways, I have often asked him to view it with me, and I tend to be more vulgar than he is most of the time. He thinks it's because his mother was so open about it all when he was a teenager. She would buy all the boys magazines and movies, she got off on it. She is a twisted mother if you ask me. So DH had his share of porn while he was a teenager, and so now it doesn't do so much for him. (so he says)

The reason this is all even an issue is because today I went into his email and saw two spam ads for porn stuff. (ftr, we share our email accounts) I asked him about it and he says he doesn't know why he's getting it. I say "do you look at porn?" He say's "yeah, a little". Again, I'm like WTF? I look at Milf sometimes, I think it's a riot. I usually look at it while he's right here in the room with me though. He says he has looked at Milf too, and that's it. I asked him to please not jerk off under our computer desk. That kind of pissed him off, he says he's only looked out of curiosity a couple of times. What do I make of all this? Is this all normal? What does it mean?

So, any one want to psycho analyze me? Or my DH for that matter...