For Glow

Part 2, The (long) Conclusion

When I left off, I was actually on the phone with the anonymous caller. After assuring me I was not in danger, the caller said, "this is Justin, I got your number from Krissi". Justin is my brother's friend. The one who was with him that night in the hot tub. I was relieved, but also pretty angry. I laughed (from the relief) and then told him I was not happy about it. I asked him to turn off the voice changer, but he said he couldn't once he was on the phone. He then told me he routinely calls girls, with the disguised voice, to say the things he wants to, but doesn't feel the courage to say. Then he asked me a very crude question. I was completely baffled, and began to grow uncomfortable again. I don't know Justin very well personally, but had only heard very good things about him. This didn't sound *anything* like the Justin I knew, or had heard about. He began to say things suggesting he thought I had "feelings" for him. He said he felt the same way. So at this point, I realized he was insane. Not at ALL the person everyone thought he was.

There was just no way Justin could actually have "feelings" for me, nor could he have really thought *I* had feelings for him. We had been at many of the same gatherings (at our friend Jennifer's house), and we had talked to each other a bit, but never had any major conversations. For him to imply otherwise seriously concerned me.

I knew I had to tell my brother, and the female friends we have. I was on the phone with him for a few minutes, trying to be polite, and trying to get off the phone. I kept waiting (and hoping) for him to say it was all a joke. I finally told him he must be drunk, and I didn't want to talk to him while he was like that, and that the voice changer freaked me out. I told him I would talk to him tomorrow. I was holding out hope that it was a joke, or that at least he would take some of the things he said, back, the next day. I called my friend again and told her everything. While we were talking, Justin called back 4 more times. These are the messages he left: (I obviously didn't answer)

"I really want to talk to you, why aren't you picking up?"

"Answer the phone next time I call, I have something really really important to tell you, and I can't say it tomorrow. I have to tell you now while I have the courage. Answer the phone."

"I really need to talk to you. Are you with him?"

"Why are you choosing him over me? I don't understand. I thought you said you were really into me."

(all the calls were made with the voice changer on)

"Him" was my husband, I guess. In order to get off the phone the time I talked to him, I had said something about being home now, and that my DH was waiting for me. I said it in the hopes of deterring him from calling again. In reality, my husband had been in bed for hours and had no idea what was going on. I was Freaked. Out. I was shaking and felt like vomiting. I thought this man was completely insane. I went to bed that night, but didn't really sleep. I was scared, and completely baffled. I also didn't know whether to blow this guys world apart by alerting all his (our mutual) friends that he seemed to be completely mentally unstable.

The next morning, my brother called me. He said he thought he knew who had left me the scary messages. I asked who, and he said "Jennifer". Apparently Justin called him and said he had received some weird calls that night, too. I was very upset, thinking that Justin was obviously not going to take responsibility, and I was not about to let Jennifer take the blame for this. I decided to call Krissi, thinking if I could confirm that Justin called her for my number, it would prove he called me.

When I got Krissi on the phone, she immediately apologized for "the joke she and Jennifer played on me last night". So that was it. It was my own friend Jennifer, and not Justin, who had done that to me. Worse yet, it was almost noon and Jennifer had made no effort to let me know that Justin was not, indeed, a psychotic stalker/killer/maniac. I was furious. I am furious.

I was so convinced that it had been Justin, that I had gone as far as looking at some photos I have of him (the next morning), and convinced myself he even looked crazy! I had genuinely believed that my safety was in question, and was already planning on making sure nobody was going to give out my address. I wish you all could *hear* the messages. They were really just like something out of a movie. The creepiest thing I have ever heard.

That day, I avoided a call from Jennifer. She left me a voice mail and made no mention of the night before, or what she had done. She did tell me to call her, because she needed to talk to me. I was too upset to call her. I had already let Krissi (who I don't know that well) know how upset I had been. I made it very clear. Later in the day I had dinner plans with my DD and another mother and a friend of DD's. As I was walking out the door, Jennifer (with her DH and kids in the car) drove up to my house. She was all smiles and was "dropping by to give me a love note", she said. The note said nothing important, just that they were in the area and wanted to leave me something to say hi. I was so caught off guard by seeing her, that I didn't say anything about what I knew. In fact, I'm not sure I said *anything*. It all happened so quickly. She handed me the note, and left. I think I just smiled and said "bye". I really do suck at being visibly angry at people. What a faker I was. *sigh*

Anyways, a few minutes later, I got a call from her, which I ignored. Her voice mail was her saying that Krissi just let her know that I knew, and now she understood why I had ignored her calls that day. She said she was "so sorry, never meant to scare me, didn't think I'd be that scared, blah, blah, blah".

She called again, saying she would leave me alone after the last message, but this time she was crying, telling me I had been such a good friend to her, and again, she hadn't known I would freak out. She did sound genuinely horrified by what she'd done.

During the day (before Jennifer's calls) I called Justin and let him know what she had done. I wanted to know if she had impersonated *me* to him. THAT would have pissed me off even more. Apparently, she didn't. He laughed it off, maybe because he's a guy? He wasn't as scared by any of it. Of course, she had told him she was a female...so maybe he didn't feel as threatened. I don't know.

I probably should have made this a three part story, sorry it's so long. I wish there was some way to convey how upset I was by the whole thing. Thinking this guy (Justin) was insane (did I mention that my brother wants to get a place with him?) and thinking I was in danger...knowing she didn't clear it all up right away, it was all so much to take in. I never should have had to go to bed thinking the things I thought.

I sent Jennifer an email, saying that I needed some time before talking to her about this. I let her know how upset I was (am).

So, what do you think? I think I need to get over it, and forgive her. I have a feeling her husband thinks it's all funny (though that is just a guess). I know she called many people that night (including her DH) and nobody else reacted as badly as I did. Though I do believe I was the only female she called.

The worst part was thinking it was Justin. I would rather have thought it was an anonymous caller, just pulling a prank. Having it be someone I knew, and knowing he would say the menacing things, followed by his "confession" that he liked me, made it all feel more dangerous to me.

May have been one of the scariest nights of my life.

p.s. the title "which is worse?" was referring to thinking it was an anonymous caller, or thinking it was someone I knew.