I have almost nothing to say while at the same time, a few things I could talk about that are probably not worth the blog space. So it's a tough decision, but I think I'd rather blog about nothing worthwhile than not update at all.
Something I forgot to mention from my stay at the beach a few weeks ago was a conversation I had with my 17 year old cousin and her 15 year old friend. Apparently, they thought I was "cool" enough to talk to about sex. My 17 year old cousin was recently caught having her boyfriend sneak over when her parents weren't home and they messed around, though they didn't actually "do it". She asked me how she would know if she had had an orgasm. Umm. How do you answer that one? Seriously, how would you answer that? I came right out and asked her if she had ever masturbated (though I might have used a different term) and she said no. *boggle* Maybe she was embarrassed to say anything different, I don't know. At any rate, she wanted to hear that she really *had* had one, so I told her she probably did. Though I also told her that a "real" one will be enough that she won't have to ask. *giggle*
Ahh, girl talk. It was fun. I almost forgot I'm supposed to be responsible and that her parents would possibly kill me for not saying the "right" thing. Oh well. I think I did fine. She has since asked me to help her compose a letter to her boyfriend, letting him know she's not ready for anything else yet. She was extremely paranoid she had gotten pregnant! And with the details she gave me, that would have been impossible! *snort*
How 'bout you? Ever been in that role before? I vividly remember being in my cousin's position, asking *my* older cousin questions about sex. It's a lot of pressure!
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Ouch, I have lost myself again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, Yeah I think that I might break. I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe. Be my friend Hold me, wrap me up Unfold me I am small, I'm needy. Warm me up And breathe me
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MM
Ouch, I have lost myself again. Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found, Yeah I think that I might break. I've lost myself again and I feel unsafe. Be my friend Hold me, wrap me up Unfold me I am small, I'm needy. Warm me up And breathe me
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15 comments:
I haven't been in that position YET but I won't be surprised if Michelle and I do end up there. All the nieces and nephews think we are the coolest aunties. They also feel very comfortable asking us stuff. As young kids we got all kinds of questions about us. "do you love each other like men and women?". My nephew once blurted out at my BIL's high school graduation.."Auntie Carey, why don't you and Auntie Shell get married?". He did this at the top of his voice at a very quiet moment. Kids feel compelled to ask us these types of questions. So the sex questions won't surprise me. I tend to be very honest with kids when they ask me things. I'm not going to give them the complete birds and bees talk, that's the parent's job unless the parents have told me it's okay.
I tend to think that sex is as natural as any other part of life so there is no reason to be all that embarrassed or to lie. Obviously I watch what I say based on the age though.
I think many kids prefer to get random sexual info/advice from "safe" people who are not their parents - like cool relatives or their best friend's mom if she's cool and accessible. The goal, of course, is simple, non-judgemental info.
I have had random sex-related chats with my oldest DD's friends (when she was a young teen) but not my younger DD's friends. I was probably too old to be cool by then. Plus, she just plain had way fewer friends over.
I never have and can't imagine I never will. I don't have any male nephews that I'm close to (I only have one) or younger cousins, and since I have only daughters, I doubt their friends will want to ask me sex questions, and i they did, I'd stop them in their tracks anyway.
I will say I'm a little astonished by your statement that she was paranoid about being pregnant and from the details it was impossible. I thought kids today had much more information about that kind of stuff. BTW, I think you are exactly the kind of person she needs in her life t talk to about such matters.
P.S. - I *love* the changes to your blog. I can see it the way it was meant to be seen! :-)
I'm worried I'll have to talk to my niece about it in a few years. She just turned 13.
I think you handled it well, MM. The orgasm question is tough. Just read any women's magazine...they don't really describe it either when asked. I never knew if really good physical feelings equalled an orgasm, or if it was something different. It was something different. So that's probably how I'd describe it. And I have a feeling it's a little different for every person.
Oh, and I wonder if it's just teenage love of being dramatic that made her "extremely paranoid" she could get pregnant.
Carey, now that you mention it, I think I have some questions I will be asking you in May... ;-)
MTW (and Kim), she is not the average 17 year old. She has been sheltered way more than most kids. I think the fear was that sperm could have leaked out and soaked through clothing or something. Sorry for the TMI.
there's a position bravie hasn't been in? *boggle*
I've had kids at school ask me very blunt questions about sex and drugs and alcohol. Sometimes they just need an objective third party to bounce questions off of. Good for you for not making her feel embarassed by asking.
You should definitely tell her that she'll know the O when it happens and that it doesn't always happen for women or even usually at that age (unless she's a damn sight better at it than most people I know were at that age). I guess you don't need to go into details about screaming or the best positions for achieving one...that might be a bit much.
Just think, someday after she has the mindblowing, best-sex-ever orgasm that she'll remember for the rest of her life, she'll think of you and how you explained it all to her :-).
oh yeah, PS: I can speak! I feel like Helen Keller at the well. Wooohooooo!
Yay!! Kimmah can SPEAK here now! :)
I don't get the "Helen Keller at the well" comment, though. What was she doing at the well?
Good job, MM. Like everyone else said: non-judgemental info. I haven't been cool enough for those questions since I was 21. After I quit my job at Pizza Hut, there weren't so many younger girls looking for my sage advice.
Oh my. I have not been approached that I can remember about such a talk, although there are two girls in my neighborhood I would love to talk to. Apparently their current voice is one of "unreason."
I too think you handled that as well as you could have.
MTW, with 2 daughters you are probably off this particular hook. You can't let your DDs' girlfriends talk to you as you already wisely know - and the chances of your DDs' boyfriends asking you sex-related stuff is probably less than zero, lol. Although if a BF ever did ask you about sex I'm sure it would quickly lead to a fascinating blog entry. And maybe a restraining order, lol.
helen was at the well or pump or whatever when she was finally able to communicate.
Helen Keller: "W-A-T-E-R"
I'm enjoying catching up on your blog! And it still looks the same as always to me.
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