That *points up* is the title of the new book I bought. It has some very odd and some very funny questions in it. I thought I'd post a couple questions here and see what answers you can come up with (without cheating!). I'll come back and post the answers that the book gives, later. Don't have to answer them all, but try to do one or two at least, just for fun. :)
1. Do animals masturbate?
2. Is it true that you cannot die in a dream?
3. Can squirting breast milk in a baby's eye help a clogged tear duct?
4. Why do older people fart more than younger people? *looks at carey*
5. Why do your eyes water when you poop? <--WTF!?
6. Why don't you get goosebumps on your face?
23 comments:
Ok, I'll try a few...
1. Yeah!
2. I don't think it's true because you only dream during seep REM sleep.
4. Enlarged anus!
1. Definately
2. I remember reading somewhere that you can.
3. I have no idea. I would think the baby would cry and wash out the tear duct but really wouldn't wiping it be easier?
4. Their stuff is bigger and looser and they have no control over the muscles.
5. The smell?
6. Probably don't have the same nerve sensors or something.
1. Yep. Our bird used to do it all the time
2. Nope. I have died in exactly two dreams and I remember them both vividly.
3. no clue
4. HEY!!!!!you just called me old.
1. Yes.
2. No.
3. What?
4. Less control
5. I wasn't aware that they did.
6. I think zombs is right.
I think zombs is right.
Arkie I must insist you use this as a sig. tag line today.
Ok, these are the funniest questions *SNORT*
1. I'm going to assume that some animals do masterbate. Why else would my dog lick his own penis?
2. I thought you couldn't die in your dreams but if Carey has experienced those kinds of dreams, then I guess the answer would be false.
3. Heh. No wonder some kids are so effed up LOL.
4. Older people fart more because they lose their sense of smell and hearing so there's nothing to let them know that they are farting. *grin*
5. LMAO! My eyes have never watered during a poop. They sometimes water when I have to clean the litter box out.
6. *giggle* I've never thought about that. Pretty funny. Now that I think about it, can you get goosebumps on your feet?
I once read why men fall asleep after sex but can't remember the reason. There is some chemical reaction or something.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
1. Yes, Morgan has her own special pillow that she humps.
2. If you do then you really die.
3. I think Monsty should tell us.
4. Because they can.
5. Because of the smell.
6. The nerve endings are different on your face because of the muscle structure there.
Hm.
1. Sure
2. No
3. It's possible
Jen <--- feeling really chatty today, obvs. *snort*
I know first hand that animals masterbate. At least dogs. Back in the early 90s when I lived with my roomate, she had a little dog, a Daschund. (I don't think I spelled that correctly, and I don't care.) Anyway, this little dog was constantly playing with himself. Constantly.
One day I came home from work to a big blood stain on the carpet. It was huge. I thought something horrible had happened to Teak. I couldn't find anything wrong with him. But that night it happened again. So Jo took him to the vet and discovered that in the process of pleasuring himself, he had cut himself. It was awful. He evidentially stopped I guess because it hurt too much.
2. Is it true that you cannot die in a dream?
I don't know. I thought I had read somewhere that you could as well. I always seem to wake up before I hit the ground.
3. Can squirting breast milk in a baby's eye help a clogged tear duct?
WTF???
4. Why do older people fart more than younger people? *looks at carey*
Fiber.
5. Why do your eyes water when you poop? <--WTF!?
Not enough fiber?
6. Why don't you get goosebumps on your face?
Fiber seems to be the popular answer.
1. The first thing that comes to mind? "I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?" [/Robert de Niro voice]
2. You also can't bowl a perfect game in a dream. Try it some time. You'll always choke on the last ball.
3. If the breast was in the baby' mouth where it belonged, the baby wouldn't be trying to cry.
4. They don't. They just don't hold them back anymore because it's so much fun to blame it on the dog or the grandkids.
5. I don't watch myself or many other people poop, so I wouldn't be able to check this out. It's funny when babies poop and their eyes water,though.
6. For the same reason you can't tickle yourself.
Men sleep after sex because men *always* want to sleep. If they've done their job right, their women feel like they've accomplished something and deserve a nap. ;-)
Oh, I found the answer to #4 on my blog. Old people are more likely to be on diets and eat lots of sugarless candy!
1. Yes
2. Yes. I almost drowned in my dream yesterday afternoon. I surfaced just in time.
3. No
4. Their innards don't work as well as they age.
5. They don't.
6. Different type of skin and different nerve and sensory stuff under the skin??
I was just looking at that book on Tuesday.
1. I bet most animals masturbate
2. I have no idea.
3. Why would you want to try?
4. They eat more prunes?
5. They do?
6. Because you only get goosebumps where there are big sections of big hair folicles?
*hopes Breezy didn't make me use Morgan's special pillow when I visited*
*totally hopes Chris used it instead*
Mrk, it's a bowling ball. You aren't supposed to eat it. That may prevent you from choking on it next time. I'm just trying to be helpful.
1. Do animals masturbate?
---Yes. If you sleep with your animals they spend much of the night masturbating on your bed, and you if they can get away with it!
2. Is it true that you cannot die in a dream?
---No. You can die (like of a stroke) at anytime, even while dreaming. So if you were dreaming of dying while you were dying, then you would have died in a dream. Make saense?
3. Can squirting breast milk in a baby's eye help a clogged tear duct?
---Only if the baby is pooping at the time. (I think the real answer is yes. Something about lactic acid.)
4. Why do older people fart more than younger people? *looks at carey*
---Why are we looking at Carey? Old people have old, inefficient gut flora. Plus they often have massive amounts of old, retained poop blocked up in their lower intestine.
5. Why do your eyes water when you poop? <--WTF!?
---WTF? Um, they don't - but thanks for asking.
6. Why don't you get goosebumps on your face?
---For the same reason head wounds bleed like crazy. At all times your body enables maximum possible blood flow to the brain by not allowing involuntary muscles to contract.
Men fall asleep after sex because you wore them out. And they don't want to talk about it.
Pffft! Still no answers here??? Pffft!
*squirts everyone with breastmilk*
What?
To 3, the answer is actually no. You are supposed to massage the tear duct and clean it carefully with boiled water and a Q-tip.
(Philippe had a blocked duct for about three months.. I know whereof I speak)
*tries to get the cereal bowl in range of Coco's breast milk*
Great answers (or guesses) everyone! Definitely caused me some laughter, today! :)
*special smooch for Coco*
Answers will be along shortly...
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