I have to vent, at the risk of sounding petty. I think I mentioned here a while ago that my brother's pregnant girlfriend informed me that I was going to throw her a baby shower, with her sister. I remember feeling somewhat indifferent, but also slightly agitated by the fact that I was told, rather than asked (or heaven forbid, letting me volunteer). Anyhow, so as soon as I was told, I knew I would let her sister run the show. She's a bit of a control freak, and also, it's *her* sister, so I figured she'd be rightly more interested in the details. I went over to talk to her about it one day and she showed me everything she had picked out (no asking my opinion). I told her I'd do whatever she needed, and to keep me posted. After a week or two, I emailed her, reiterating the offer and showing her a link to a site with the party favors she was looking for.
Today (did I mention that she lives next door to me?) she pops her head over the fence and asks if I want to see the "finished invitations". I oblige of course, and as I look it over, I notice two things. One, she printed "James's" instead of "James'", and two, she wrote only her name as the person hosting the party. She then asked me to purchase all the candy for the party favors and put them together. I'm feeling like I should either be included as a co-hostess, or left out of it. It's true, she has done most the work, but that was by her choice. Anyway, the point is not that I need the credit, but I thought it was rude of her to to leave me out, and still include me in helping. She even mentioned letting me know which foods I'm supposed to bring. I wouldn't have cared at all if I hadn't been informed of my participation. I don't know, maybe this is petty. I was irked when I first saw it, but at this point, I'm just having to let it go (but not before I bitch about it here). *grin*
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20 comments:
James' or James's are both correct. It is a matter of preference.
As for the rest: you're not being petty at all. Even if she is doing most of the work, she should be gracious enough to list you as co-hostess if she expects you to buy candy, bring food, and do other stuff for the party.
Maybe she wanted to host a shower for her sister on her own, and feels like she was 'saddled' with you as a co-host?
Letting it go is probably the only gracious thing you can do. That's usually the best choice to make during all the little turf war things that sometimes happen in the build up to a wedding.
I agree with Swami, maybe she did want to do it all by herself.
So I would offer to help but only do what you feel like, don't go out of your way or overboard. I don't know what kind of food she asked you to bring, but I would bring chips and dip. Something you can just pick up and plop down. *grin* But that's me.
I'm with Breezy! Chips & dip!
Swami's very smart!
When she tells you what to bring, just tell her you want to be in charge of ice and cups! *grin*
Oh and... she lives next door? and you are not privy to any info? Pffft!
I don't think you're being petty at all. *smooch*
No, I don't think you're being petty. When we hosted my sister's bridal shower, my mom and I did the majority of the work, but we still put "Hosted by the Bridal Party" on the invites. All the other girls did was bring some small dish. I think one girl didn't even do anything, but she was still included as a part of the bridal party. If you're pitching in, you are not just a guest, and you are entitled to a little recognition.
What Jen said. If you're doing the work, you get some of the credit. It's rude to exclude you.
I'd be irked, too. Irk, I like that word. Although I don't like to be irked.
Offer to mail all the invitations and then add your name in ENOURMOUS font on the top of them.
Of course, you are gracious enough to let it go, but yes, you have a right to be irked and no, you're not being petty.
I think it's very important to give credit where credit is due, and I wonder how some people can be so insensitive to things like this.
Grrr.
I like Bob's idea! *grin*
As a matter of fact, I think you should scribble out her name and then write yours in enormous font!
HD, really? Gosh, I'm glad I was being petty enough not to tell her to fix it, then.
Alright, I now believe that Swami was right, and she probably didn't want to be told that I was having it with her as well.
*runs out to buy chips and dip*
You know, I could do Bob's idea to just do the ones that have *my* friends on them. They'd never tell. *grin*
Bob <--evil
Thanks everyone! I feel better now, just by venting about it here.
*smooches*
I would also be peeved, but it's important to realize it's not worth freaking about. Just try to get through the affair with a little slice of santity left. Be the more mature person. However, I'd make sure your SIL knows (in a friendly way) her sister insisted on doing it all herself.
FWIW, I think the other planner is being petty, or totally clueless, by excluding your name as a hostess. Maybe she doesn't realize you were to be a co-hostess.
Peeved and irked are both very good words.
Irked yes, mention it no.
But is this an indication of her general personality. Just iky!
Weltek, unfortunately, SIL is worse than her, and mentioning anything negative to her would be counterproductive. I'll let it go. I bitched here, and to my parents, so I feel much better. *grin*
Ooh, peeved is another good word! :)
By the way....
when I first read your post title, I thought it said "Am I being PRETTY?"
And my thought was "I'll bet you're being VERY pretty. :-)
*smooch*
Petty? No way. I would also be ticked. (And for the record, I much prefer "James'" over "James's", too!)
Glad you got it all out here; you'll have a much easier time "smiling & nodding" during the par-tay!
~ EmRB
*wonders why MTW is sucking up*
*doesn't really care why, though*
Emily, hi! Big *smooches*
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