My young friend's new boobs, that is. I used to babysit this young lady. Can't believe she is 20 years old. Anyhow, she came to the party my mom had on Friday and she was so proud of her new set. She immediately took me into the guest room and pulled her shirt up. I tried to look mostly at her face, but it was the first time I've seen implants, in person. They were quite tasteful, but I was shocked at how high the nipples were. And they reminded me a bit of a goldfish's eyes, looking away from eachother. But quite nice, nonetheless. She even made me touch them. So I poked one side, and like I said, it felt just like a water balloon.
The party was really nice, saw a lot of friends I hadn't seen in a while, had some wonderful blackberry merlot, talked about boys, and hey! I got to touch some boobs! Before the party, my mom asked me to do all the food shopping. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal but it was.
I have a slight case of agoraphobia. I asked DD to go with me (because I would never go alone) and for some reason (completely idiotic) I decided to try a store I'd never been to. Big mistake. I was dressed up really nice, so I thought I would feel okay, but it didn't matter. I knew everything I did was wrong. I knew everyone was watching me, wondering why I looked lost, or why I looked panicked. In the end, I bought everything we needed, and I felt very grown up as I left the store. I will never go there again.
That was my weekend (but I'm skipping the really interesting *rolls eyes* dinner with DH I had on Saturday). Oh, and I'm skipping how the %$#&@$ Raiders beat the Redskins on Sunday. And how I could hear the new neighbors across the street cheering them on. Stupid neighbors.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
53 comments:
I have always wondered... and now I know! She was just showing them off to you because (from what I've heard) you have a great rack!
Kudos on the grocery store!
Yes, they do feel a bit like water balloons.
Great job at the grocery store. And if they were watching you, they were just admiring how hot you looked.
Oh - and I wanna hear about this "really interesting *rolls eyes*" dinner with DH.
Real people get implants? I thought those just existed on tv?
Do you feel that the clerk sneers at you grocery purchases? Like if you have veggies, you feels all proudlike and when you get nothing but junk food and mixers you feel either guilty or very proudlike?
What momma said.
Hooray for touching oobies! My mom's implants freak me out, because she's farther away now when I hug her.
(I just hit the wrong key and ended up typing "jug" there. Freudian slip?)
Raiders are a football team, right?
That's too bad. I guess.
Yay, oobies!
I can't imagine why you got a reputation for publishing a smut blog.
Way to go on the grocery store, MM. I'm just wondering why you had to buy all the food for her party!
Did you try to poke them to see if she'd get all wet? *snort* Good thing is she can use the nipples to areate her lawn now, all she has to do is roll around a bit.
*smooch* to Nutz!
Momma, I'm really sparing you the dinner conversation with DH, be grateful. ;-)
Bob, Yes! Real people get them. It cost her 6k to do it, but I guess it was worth it. And yes, I do think the clerks are sneering.
Seana, how big did your mom go??
HD, I know. It's totally not fair, is it? I think everyone just thought it would be fun to assign the title of "smut blogger" to someone, and I just happened to be it. *shrug*
Jen, it was either shop for her or clean her house. I offered. I learned my lesson. *smooch*
LOL @ Tish and Slim!
LOL @ HD saying, "Yay, oobies!"
There is something inherently wrong about that. *grin*
*smooches* back to MM!
They are now called "ditties"
That is all.
Sounds like a good weekend! I want me some water balloons. Before momma makes a comment I know I have plenty, but the bigger they are (at least lifted) the less people notice all my fat. LOL!
Wait a sec, I just realised momma knows what they feel like too. I demand more details!
Sonya has boobs. Or ditties. Whatever. She's ALWAYS had plenty. She offered to share with me once upon a time.
And yes, Bob. I know what water balloons feel like. I also know what fake boobs, or oobies, or ditties, whatever feel like. I've touched them. I've also touched the silicone implant that's put into the body. I have friends, you know! *grin*
Umm, ditties sound too little, to me. Or I could say, big ditties, I guess.
Sometimes I get the feeling everyone else has much more glamourous, exciting lives than me.
More exciting than blowing stuff up in a lab? I think not. Plus, you did your hair, remember?
Bob, I feel the same way you do. Nobody EVER asks me to feel their fake oobies (or real ones). And my DW never gets invited to sex toy parties.
Sigh!
I've been to a sex toy party, it was fun. The girls were taking turns using the restroom so they could try the tingling lube stuff. I didn't buy anything there, though. I'm WAY to prudish for that stuff.
I've never snorted so hard in my life, mm.
mtw - if you'll buy the plane ticket, your wife can go to the next party I go to, k? *grin*
momma - LOL! That would require me to tell DW that I have all these friends she doesn't know about!
She still hasn't figured out how I knew where the good restaurants were in DC. (thanks, HD!)
Honestly, I can't even imagine anyone we know hosting one of these parties. Maybe we're too old. *sigh*
Oooooooooh. I see, said the blind man.
Hmm..go to ... oh shit. Sonya, what's the name of those damn parties? You can order a catalog for her.
I *do* have nice hair. And it looks super glamourous scraped into a ponytail with the grubby labcoat.
*prances off all pretty-like*
Umm, we also have a store nearby. Not that I've been or anything...
I just need to get bold and go shopping for her. I hear the *egg* is the in thing these days?
Any other suggestions? :-)
They have some cute leopard skin printed handcuffs there. Not that I've been there.
Maybe they sell PMs there? Because I've been wanting one...
OMG!
*runs out of the smut blog screaming and covering her ears*
*snort* @ Nutz. You're just pretending to be all prudish. I bet you have sex parties all the time. :P
PM's?
Precious Moments? Those little big-eyed figurines of little kids?
*barf*
Hey! I like Precious Moments, tyvm. And no, that's not what I meant.
You know where the store is, don't you?
I have no idea where the store is or what store you're talking about.
*seriously*
Don't feel bad MTW. I don't know what a PM is either.
MM: I don't know how big Mom's oobies are now, probably a D. They sure as hell weren't a D when I was growing up.
What about boob lifts? 'Cause I could sooo use a coupla those.
*smooches* to my mm....
Slumber parties is a popular brand, but the one I'm having in January for couples is some new brand. You and "L" must come. (COME NOT CUM) LOL! This is the smut blog,right? BTW, Momma - mine are real and I'm sure you have felt them.
*giggles*
I've felt them, I've seen them, hell, I've probably slept with them at some point.
By the way, MTW, Passion Parties was what I was looking for.
I heard there was smut here and I wasn't mislead.
Me too, Rose. Or, soon, I think. :(
Holy hell, Sonya, this may be a smut blog (according to everyone but me) but watch that language! Sheesh... ;-)
Hi Kimmah! Hope it wasn't too much for you. :)
I have never had the opportunity to actually see and feel fake ones. Good to know for the future.
YAY that you made it through the shopping experience. I hate grocery shopping.
*snort* Bunch of divas.
Anyway, why does nobody in this crowd have fake "ditties" (see me using new terminology?)? Then we could feel them and know for ourselves.
I nominate MTW.
My sis got fake ditties many many years ago. She showed me her before pictures then lifted her top to show me the new ones. I almost cried when I saw her before pics. She was always large-dittied growing up but after having children, they went completely flat and hung down her stomach. Now they are high and firm. She didn't ask me to touch them though. I don't think I would have LOL. She got them on a payment plan ... she laughed that she'd be paying for them her whole life. She was going to will them to her daughter LOL.
YAY MM for getting the grocery store. I know the feeling so you get *BIG BIG HUGS* for going to a new one.
You're right Coco, you would think probabiity-wise that one person here would have fake ditties.
Not it.
Nominated?
Is that to be the one to get fake ditties? Or to be the one to test everyone's ditties.
I would gladly accept the latter, but I would need to be able to feel a variety of fake and real ones to give you all an accurate, objective assessment.
MTW - Always willing to help out!
LOL @ PM!
Nookie, how could you have passed the opportunity to touch them? *boggle*
If I ever get fake ones, I will have an OT party so everyone can poke them!
Coco, good idea nominating MTW. While I am sure it would be an inconvenience, I have no doubt he would rise to the challenge. *snort*
So what are PM's?
The obvious answer (so we don't get into trouble) would be PM= PhoenixMons, aka, Karen.
The way *I* meant it was a Private Message. I was joking about it and it got totally misunderstood. No more joking for me.
Okay call me blonde. Duh.
*giggles*
Hey! You promised me nekkid men!
I'm just here to say how much I like this blog, even though it is smutty and not porny.
*smooch*
LOL, Seana. Thank you. I was getting a complex.
Sorry HD, it was a test, to see if you could really get in, even though you always say you can't! *grin*
I have an old funny, but thought it was appropriate for the conversation. This if definitely cheaper than a boob job.
*giggles*
Just for all the bored bloggers:
Fresh from the shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my
husband that my breasts were too small.
Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he
uncharacteristically came up with a suggestion.
"If you want your breasts to grow, then everyday take a piece
of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds."
Willing to try anything, I fetched a piece of toilet paper and stood in
front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
"How long will this take?", I asked.
"They will grow larger over a period of years", my husband replies.
I stopped. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my
breasts every day will make my breasts bigger over the years?"
Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your butt, didn't it?"
Yes this is a joke and not me. LOL! MM, I do so love your blog!
*hugs*
I can read the most recent entry. The rest is all formatted in weird ways.
Thanks for the laugh, Sonya. I've hear that one but loved it.
Well, HD, as long as you never miss a day, we should be okay then. *smooch*
Post a Comment