I went to a party today with my brother. I was really nervous because I was seeing people I had not seen in about 10 years, including the guy I used to majorly crush on (or back then, thought I was totally in love with). So anyways, we get to the house and fortunately, we were among the first to arrive, which made me feel a little better (not having to walk into a crowded house). I sat with the girls and we were all chatting about girl stuff when one of them brings up a guy named Frank. Okaaaaayy. I got very uncomfortable because when I was on a brief hiatus from DBF (DH) I went out with Frank. We made out in a car, he begged me to sleep with him, I said no way. Well I find out tonight that he not only had a (sorta) girlfriend at the time, but she was at the party (standing next to me). She looks at me and says, "it's ok, he called me that night and told me everything". Um, everything? Oh yeah. He told everyone we slept together. For over 10 years these people have thought I slept with this guy.
Then, to make me even more uncomfortable, they bring up Andrew, who I made out with around the same time. FTR, I've made out with a grand total of 3 guys (one being DH) . So this was my entire history, being dragged out. So I'm standing there, swearing to them that nothing major happened between Frank and I when my old crush got there. The hostess, who is completely insane, says "Greg! Did you know Tab made out with Frank and Andrew?" Greg looked very uncomfortable and I grabbed my purse and headed to the bathroom, where I hyperventilated. When I came out, Jennifer (the hostess) informs me that Greg had a crush on me back then. Thanks, why the hell didn't he tell me then?? Whatever, nothing I can do about that now. *sigh* Believe it or not, after that horrifying start, I actually had a decent time. I drank too much, but not wine, since that is what gives me the horrible headache.
I talked to Frank's ex at length, (turns out he killed himself a few years ago) and I really liked her. She came on to my brother all night, but besides that, she was a nice girl. Greg went to the store and bought me some Black Cherry Smirnoff, since I didn't like the Apple kind, and then we sat and caught up for a while. He is a great guy. OMG! I almost forgot, he asked me where my kids were and I answered, "they're with DH" (I actually said DH). He didn't catch it, or if he did he didn't ask me about it, but I was totally embarrassed after that. It's funny, I kept wondering why I ever liked him so much, and other than being "nice", I have no idea. I was very boy crazy back then, though, so it didn't take much.
That was my evening. When I got home I couldn't share much of it with DH, for obvious reasons. My brother wants me to go again sometime. I might actually do it. One thing I keep thinking about is how we are all exactly the same as we were back then, but now we are all grown-ups. It's kind of disturbing. I always thought we'd be so much more mature than we were back then. Guess not.
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78 comments:
See that? Even when you aren't being smutty, you have a smutty reputation!
That's funny!
Glad you had a good time. Don't you just love the way things get turned around when you are actually innocent?
LOL!
With comments like that that I guess the evening could have been horrifying, but it sounds more flattering to you and I'm glad you had a good time.
I had the black cherry Smirnoff for the first time on Thursday. I liked it a lot. Mixed it with 7-up. I like it better than the Vanilla. *sip*
Heh, I've made out with more boys than you have. Ya prude.
You've only made out with 3 guys? How did you get to be the Queen of Smut? *smooch*
Great, from smutty to prude, just like that. (might as well go to Nutzy's blog) ;-)
Yes, only 3 guys. Yes, I guess I was a prude, or else a highly sheltered little girl who grew up in a very conservative over-protective home. Either way, I know it's pathetic.
And Bob? Which part was flattering? Because I can't get past the horrifying.
And Carey? I'm only 29. Give me until I'm as old as you and then we'll re-count. :P
LOL at calling him DH! You shuld have screamed Zombie really loud too and see if anyone answered!
Poor MM. Things always seem worse when they happen to you but probably no one even noticed.
Yeah, screaming "Zombie" would have made me look so much better. {snort}
Flattering because obviously you were the most interesting person there. Everyone else has dull, boring lives so they have discuss yours, and not just your current (smut filled) life either, your past life was quite enough.
yeah what Bob said!
Honey, I had made out with more than three guys by the age of 15.
Hell I had slept with more than three boys by the time I was age...oops...nevermind.
I'm a lesbian, I have never made out with or slept with boys. Nope. Not ever.
I like your theory Bob, but we talked about everyone's past, which is why mine was so interesting. Andrew (the other guy) dated the hostess, too, which I didn't know before. I was like the ho who hooked up with the other girls boyfriends. Very nice, huh?
LOL, Carey. At least you are sure you are who you are, then. No having to wonder if guys really "do it" for you. ;-)
Well, I've only ever been with one guy. (My ex). And we only had sex one time the 3 years we were together. Yeah, I'm almost virginal.
And I was able to type this, and read through it twice with a straight face.
If you were my mom that is exactly what I would want to hear. However, I was not able to read what you wrote (even once) with a straight face.
And if you really want an overshare...*I* have really only slept with one guy (DH) though I couldn't count how many times. :P
Wow arkie. A straight face? Good job.
OMH! Just cuz I ain't commented doesn't mean I ain't reading! ;-)
{{{HUGS}}}
*snort*
Yeah, I thought that was a pretty good story. LMAO!
I really couldn't say how many guys I slept with. Not that there were that many, I just have a very bad memory.
FTR: I have slept with more men than I have women. Yikes. Bad lesbian. Maybe I'll have to work on that.
Ooops, I'm semi-married.
Yay! I got Vols to comment! (all I had to do was threaten to ban his blog)
LOL @ Carey. Very bad lesbian, indeed. FTR, I think I've slept with more women than men. ;-)
Don't these belong in your confession post?
The smut queen gets hers...
lololololololol....
You've made out w/ only 3 guys your whole life?
(I guess that makes me a smut goddess. Or just a prior slut. whatevs....*grin*)
LOL @ the DH slip.
I got married when I was 17 and mr lights was my first so I'll let you do the math.
Sad story, isn't it. *wink*
Carey, I'm trying to create a 'confessions all the time' kinda mood here. And I didn't say I had sex with them, sheesh.
Haha, very funny Rose. Yes, the smut queen has a limited smut history. Or, you are just a slut. Whichever.
Hey lights, Arkie has a song playing at her blog for us. Not everyone *looks at Carey and Rose* can appreciate it. *grin*
8:28: Ads are on CSI. I wonder if the guy did it?
8:29: Bob realises she can't handle having 2 windows open on her computer.
Oh holy hell. By the age of 15, I'd made out with more guys than mm. ANd lightsy. And we're not going to get into how many I've slept with. Suffice it to say that three is not near enough and thirty is way too many.
What the hell does that make me?
I think 30 is too many. Oh shit.
*runs off to try to count and remember*
What the hell does that make me?
Not sure what it make you, but it makes me a little gellus. *grin*
I think Momma and I may have been on about the same wave length. I'm not sure if that is good or bad, for either of us. *smirk*
I do find it ironic that the lesbian has had more boy action than many of the straight women. Rudy would have a field day with "see how those homosexuals are promiscuous" thing. *rolls eyes*
No, he'd have a field day with, "See, it is a choice!"
Wait. I've made out with four different women. And kinda sorta had sex with two of them. Am I more lesbian than Carey?
Oh shit.
Well, I guess the confessions are under way. I have a juicy one, but I'll never tell. Of course, to you guys it probably wouldn't seem that bad. Nevermind.
Bob never makes confessions, BTW. Maybe we should gang up on her.
Oh no you don't, Missy. You cannot tease us with a confession then say you'll never tell. That's just...wrong!
so, are we really going to start with the confessions? How's this for one? I'm not really sure when I lost my virginity.
Ok, I'll just say this. I had a little souvenir from the date with Frank and I passed it off as being from DH. He never did find out that it was from someone else. Good enough?
Arkie, explain, please.
And I'm not saying where it was, that's where I draw the line.
Nope. sorry Momma. I have made out with more than four chicks and have slept with more than two.
Do they count if I don't remember their name? Because that ups the ante for both men and women. *shameful smirk*
I'm not sure if you really want me to explain this one, mm. Because there's no way to tell this story without being graphic.
Oh, sweetie, I'm glad you had fun.
umm... 3 guys? I don't have to put a number here, do I? Because, seriously, I have no idea. A lot. Like a really big lot. And that's only the guys. Oh wait. We're talking made out with, right? Cause if we're talking about sex, I might be able to figure out a number for you. (Or at least a ball park figure.) Maybe.
I'm not sure now, either, Arkie. I'll let you decide that one.
I would like to say though, FTR, that this blog entry had very little smut and yet the turn the comments have made would really support the "smut" theme of my blog. But it's not my fault. See how it happens? Everyone else gets smutty, then I get the smut title. So not fair.
Hi Glow! You still have that "new bride" thing going, so it feels extra special to see you. *smooch*
Oh my! *blushes*
See! I knew it! Everyone else does have a more exciting life than me!
Case in point: A completely smut filled bunch of comments and my only posts are an accidental one that was supposed to be in my blog and an explanation of said post.
Boooooorrrrrriiiiiinnnnggggg
You guys are worried about Bob's confessions, eh?
I could tell you things about Bob, yes I could. Maybe I should; I owe her for telling a current lover about all the previous ones when she was drunk as a skunk on sangria.
Mwahahahahahahahaa.
Oh, and before Bob can do it, my totals are probably somewhere in the middle of all of you.
Way more than hers, but in the average, I think.
I've made out with one guy and three girls and had sex with no one. *sigh* :'(
*still waiting for some Bob dirt*
Hey Jen, you've made out with more people than me! Be proud!*smooch*
Man, that was good sangria.
And I'd like to mention that I have more Coco dirt than she has Bob dirt.
*This could be a threat*
*Or it could be Bob's not so exciting life*
Well...
OK. The time in question was when I was 15. I was making out with this guy (and we were outside somewhere underneath a tree - just wanted to up the smut factor), and we were both naked below the waist. To not get too graphic, let's just say I would have thought I would have felt something if we had actually had sex. The guy thought we had sex. But, I'm not sure there was actual intercourse. I think maybe he just humped between my legs. If that wasn't the first time, then the first time was when I was 17.
Ohhh dangerous line of thinking here. Can I list how many before 1996 cause that's easy 0. After, hmmm...well let's just say divisble by 10. *blushes*
Bob has more dirt because I'm sluttier.
Sort of.
And Arkie's post almost made me spew hot chocolate. It's not that I don't sympathize, because I do, but it's just funny in retrospect.
Phew!! I'm soooo glad I was away from the computer for the past few days and didn't get tricked into an overshare here....
Okay Bob, continue with the coyness...but I'll be waiting for Coco to drunk blog/comment after the baby comes, and I'm betting she'll share some real dirt.
Arkie, OMH! What can I say to that?
I feel badly for he guy, and for you, too. My guess is you would have known for sure, but I could be wrong. *stifles laughter*
Hi Slim! I've missed you! *smooch*
(no blushing in my blog, btw) ;-)
Coco, we'll get some real dirt on you too, dear!
Karen, I *love* piano bars! Not that I've been to a real one, really. When I go on a cruise I always find the cruise "piano bar" and that's where I spend my evenings, usually alone, since everyone else likes the "livelier" bars.
You and your friends sound like a blast to hang out with!
Heehee. OK, I met DH when I was 17, so like PM, I packed all my making-out-with-boys time in before that. So, lessee...I've made out with...um...OK, I'm remembering 13, but I think it's got to be more than that. I guess I was pretty busy from age 14 to 17. Wait. There was that guy on the plane to Germany, so 14. Oh, wait. 15. I'm missing someone, I just know it. You know what? I like kissing.
I think I missed out not ever making out with a woman.
As for sex, well...4, including DH. That guy on the place earned me a reputation as a slut in HS. I didn't actually lose my virginity until much later. Oh well.
16.
Dang. I'm so missing out on this. Where have I been? Momma does kissing me count as one of the make out sessions with a woman? LOL!
Sorry. That was my deletion. It printed twice. No I didn't delete any juicy stuff. LOL!
I'm sorry to be so late getting to the party. My number is somewhere between 5 and 132.
OK, closer to 5.
Way closer.
WAAAAAAAYYYYY closer.
Interestingly, momma and carey are 2 of the 5. ;-) And I think I made out with Coco at a party once.
I tried to hit on Bob, but she said it was against her religion. *ouch*
Oh, and Arkie? He would DEFINITELY know. He was engaging in a little wishful thinking there.
I've slept with more people than MTW. Neener neener neener.
And MTW? That was you?
Are we talking sleeping or doing the nasty?
The fact that MTW lives semi near me, chances are we may have slept together.
"I might like you better if we slept together" Romeo Void.
Carey is so very.
*giggles*
Umm, I live the closest to MTW so if anyone has made out with him, it would be me. :P
I have had sex with more people than MTW, unless he is lying. :D
SWOOP
Coco, you just keep wanting to rub that little fact in, don't you!
FTR - I could have had more, but I'm not as trusting of birth control as some others must be! :-)
*rubs oil on MTW*
Happy?
But Carey, there's something in your eyes that says "Maybe". That's never!
Never! Saaaay! Never!
*dances with Seana*
*checks watch* *checks calendar*
Isn't it time for an update?
Yes, yes. I'm working on it. Sheesh...
Will it count if there is no smut involved?
I think arkie is a blog Nazi! She wants my Very Special Holiday Blog update.
I'm going to her blog and raise a little H-E-double toothpicks.
But first, I have to do something with all this oil...
Hey, MTW!
*checks to make sure MM isn't looking*
*SMOOCH*
WTF!? *smooching* him in my own freaking blog?
Ho.
And your point is?
*grin*
Bob <---inventor of religions.
Bob can stay. Arkie must go. (unless you leave my BF alone)
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