::update::
We are not going to the services. It looks like there will be a nasty storm anyways, which would have made it harder. My friend in the hospital is worse than we thought and needs to have a heart valve replaced right away, which is scary because the staph infection is still going strong and may attack the new heart valve as well. *sigh* I think my aunt is ok, though I'm not really sure. My mom talked to her and she has a heart problem, but for some reason I got the impression it's not a huge deal. We'll see. Thanks for the nice comments and advice!
So in two weeks I'm supposed to be going to Cayucos again. We went last year at this time too. This year, it would just be my parents, myself and the kids, and of course the relatives who own the beach house (for that week).
I just found out my cousins grandfather passed away after years of suffering with dementia. The funeral is the same weekend we are supposed to be out of town, but three hours from here, and about 7 hours in the opposite direction from the beach. I don't know what to do. My kids have been looking forward to this since last year...it's been the only thing they've talked about. My cousins and I are not close at all, but I did care about their grandfather, as I've known him since I was a small child. I'm also not close to my uncle "by marriage" (whose father died) or my aunt, but I'm still torn. My mom wants to go to the services, and I suppose she could represent the family on this, as I heard my dad does *not* feel obligated and in fact has been viewing this beach trip as some sort of life-line, getting him through some rough times at work lately.
On top of this, another friend I grew up with has a staph infection which has compromised his immune system and also caused a growth on his heart. He's in ICU nearby. I also found out tonight that my aunt Terri is in the hospital, though no one seems to know exactly why. *sigh*
How wrong is it that I just want to get away for the freakin' weekend and relax? It's hard to decide, hard to know what the "right" thing to do is.
What would *you* do?
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8 comments:
Tab, if it was me, I'd go to the beach. Funerals are for the survivors, not the deceased, and if you aren't really close to the cousins - and would provide them with some special measure of comfort that others would not provide - then there is no need for you to be there.
Honor their grandfather privately while you are at the beach, or at home before you leave. Maybe the kids and you could do something together at the beach to remember him.
And sorry about your friend and Aunt Terri. :( *smooch*
Yeah, that's what I want to do, MTW. I'm still waiting on news about my aunt...
I agree with Mark on this one. You could have the children make a tiny raft and put some flowers or sea shells on it in his honor and send it adrift into the ocean.
*HUGS* So sorry for all the sad news Tab. Sending good thoughts for your friend and aunt.
What MTW and Nookie said. Let your mom go and "represent." Go to the beach with your kids and dad. Just go. (Can I come too?)
Apparently my mom isn't going to go now either, since my other uncle (who lives where the funeral is, and is also the one who invited us all to the beach) isn't going to attend it, so she would be on her own on the drive back and it's just too much. Maybe we can do something else, before then, to show them some support.
I really learned how much I appreciated those who came to my grandparent's services, and I've been trying to make more of an effort when I can, though I'm the type who always ends up thinking "why would anyone care if *I* went", you know?
I hope they're preserving his body for two weeks. That's a long time. Send a note, or flowers, or food. Then, go to the beach.
I hope things work out well for your friend and your aunt.
I agree with the others, but it looks like it has worked out.
*sending good thoughts for your friend and aunt*
*sends good vibes to all the sick peeps*
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