Okay, here I have two lists. One is a list of the World's Smallest Books, which I found amusing. YMMV.
The other is a list I compiled myself. If you see yourself on it, you might want to ask yourself what you have in common with the other listees. (this is *not* a complete list, BTW)
Coco
HistoryDetective
Schnookie
Syren
Loremaster Alec
Mrs. MTW
Puffy
Rose
World's Smallest Books
The Code of Ethics for Lawyers
The Australian Book of Foreplay
Americans' Guide to Etiquette
The World Guide to Good American Beer
Royal Family's Guide to Good Marriages
Bill Clinton: A Portrait of Integrity
Jerry Garcia's Guide to Beating Drug Addiction
Contraception by Pope John Paul II
The Wit and Wisdom of Dan Quayle.
Consumer Marketing Ethics
America's Most Popular Lawyers
Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches
Everything Men Know about Women
George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names
Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette
Beauty Secrets by Janet Reno
Home Built Airplanes by John Denver
How To Get To The Super Bowl by Dan Marino
Things I Love About Bill, by Hillary Clinton
My Life's Memories, by Ronald Reagan
Things I Can't Afford, by Bill Gates
The Wild Years, by Al Gore
Amelia Earhart's Guide To The Pacific
America's Most Popular Lawyers
Spotted Owl Recipes by the Sierra Club
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And on a completely personal note; my DH decided to go to OT and find a sig that had a blog linked. When he did, he went to that blog and then proceeded to read some of the other linked blogs. He avoided mine because he knows it's off limits to him. He found some comments I made to some "unnamed peeps" and was hurt that I would blatantly flirt here. So, does he have a point? Have you seen me cross a line? Would it bother your spouse to read all the comments you make in blogs or on OT? I told him I'd cut back on the flirting (what choice do I have?) but I am angry at him for snooping. Am I out of line here?
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43 comments:
I'm not on the list! I know why!
I have actually updated recently!
Flirt? You? I don't know if any has crossed the line. Nothing I have seen has. I would say that only you can answer that.
*checks list*
Phew! Good thing I updated.
Why are you so obsessed with peeps updating? We have real lives you know! Things get busy. Back off! *grin*
Ummm... your flirting is definitely way over the line! Especially when it's with my man, MTW. Sheesh! Back off! *grin*
Arkie. Don't forget Arkie.
Given your DH's history, I'd be pissed too. When will he learn? And no, I don't think you've crossed any lines. He needs to realize it's just playful fun.
Well, he's jumping into the middle of a big conversation with no idea of how it works. I can see him taking a throw-away flirtation seriously. If he reads enough to get to know people he will see that we connect at multiple levels.
First as real people. While we don't know many things about each other, we know enough to like each other.
Second as people at a masquerade ball, just having fun. Age and gender don't matter much. I can have fun flirting with MTW or Landru and it Doesn't Matter. They know how it works. Besides, IRL I'm an old woman to them.
Mr. Swami doesn't much care what I say, so long as when I talk about him he always sounds smart and sexy. This? is no problem!
I don't think you have crossed any lines.
Given your DH's actions of late, I would be pissed. It seems as though he was deliberately snooping and looking for 'something' to pin on you. Snooping leads to arguments and I hate that!!!
I guess what you have to ask yourself is would you be angry if he were flirting on-line the same way you are. DISCLAIMER: I see nothing wrong with your "flirting". In fact, I was a little surprised to even see it called flirting. In my mind I think "But it's just banter with MTW! He's harmless!"
The only person I flirt with is Carey. DH knows alllll about it and knows that I refer to her as "My Internet Girlfriend". The only time he gets irritated is when I reference Carey and I being co-Mrs. Alstotts. That? Bugs him. I suppose some of the stuff that Carey and have posted would set him a little off but then again, he is not nearly as friendly as I am and hell, I wouldn't even consider myself that friendly.
Being from upstate NY and HATING all that is Buffalo (figures that where my inlaws are from) I always wanted to publish a book called "The B.I.L.L.S. Boy, I Love Losing Superbowls."
I'm a guy therefore I dont think and couldn't figure out your puzzle.
Flirting ~ well I could probably write a short novel on flirting.
Most of the flirting that goes on in the blogs is innocent because most of us haven't met and dont know each others spouses and dont really have to worry about how they might interpret it. It's easier to just have fun and say things we might not say in person because it's a different social setting.
Anonymity has it's advantages and unfortunately though none of us have met you, your DH just took away a bit of yours. If he knew more about our circle of friends he might not react the same way but if we knew more about him or knew him better, we might not be inclined to flirt back as much either.
Hopefully is he insists on monitoring your friends he'll learn enough about us to understand where it all comes from.
Just so you know, Coco visited my blog today, so obviously she still loves me!
She said something mean, but I can deal with that.
As for online "checking" Mr Bob would never, ever go through the blogs to check on me. He's rather definate about privacy. He knows what goes on, I tell him (some) stories and I let him know the 'tone' of my relationships with peeps. He's also read some bits of blogs over my shoulder when we're home.
If he spyed on me, I would be quite pissed off. I've told him the blogs are kinda private. I've told him that I won't tell him everything that goes on. Sometimes, I just want to chat with my friends.
I find the internet odd. I mean, I assume that everyone from OT has wandered through the blogs and some random strangers, but not the people I actually know.
If you are comfortable with your behaviour and you are not losing anything in your relationship with your hubby, then the way you behave with other people isn't anything he needs to worry about. (This is, for me, a general rule about any relationships, not just online)
Also, You have The Wild Years by Al Gore twice.
I'm in the awesome updaters club. We're #1, we're #1! :-)
I don't think you've crossed the line, but then again, I know it's all harmless flirting. If he was feeling insecure before coming on here about something, or looking to pick a fight (waves to tkit), then I'm sure he could feel put-off by the harmless flirting.
I encouraged Nolay to come to OT partially because I wanted him to know all of you & understand how harmless the fun is. I never wanted to deal with any suspicion..I'd rather keep it all out in the open. I know he reads my blog (found it the same way Mr. mm did) & that kind of bothers me (I don't feel like I have anything private), but that's ok. I'm still happy and he's still ok. I think he knows it's better if he doesn't enter our blogworld as a psoter, though.
I think you know that anything you post or comment on can be seen by anyone since it is on the internet and your not going to write anything that would intentionally hurt anyone. You are smarter than that. So if your DH seen something he doesn't like he needs to look at the bigger picutre, have a little trust in you and realize everything is innocent fun.
I think online flirting is wrong and should not be happening. That's just my opinion.
So, Tkit, How YOU doin? *wink* *smooch* You're looking damn fine today, damn fine. *swoon*
Ooops, was that considered flirting? *smirk*
What? I'm hearing that the flirting is all innocent fun???
*shattered*
*crushed*
*up is down*
*down is up*
I just don't know what to say! :(
Note to MM's DH: ^ That was sarcasm. ;-)
OK. I came back with a more serious reply.
It seems to me that your hubby is possessive and jealous. He thinks you are messing around and/or will leave him. He is very insecure in your relationship. This is why he always comes (came?) home for lunch, calls or e-mails you eleventy-hundred times a day, gets upset if you go out with friends and pokes around in your internet fun.
He is looking for some kind of proof that you are doing exactly what his imagination is telling him you are.
How you can fix this, I do not know. ...but I'm sure you need to do something.
Oh! ...and really? I just wanted to post under MTW. *grin*
I put some more thought into this. I still agree with my earlier statment, but when I backed away and tried to see it from his point of view I can understand that too. I mean from your point of view he is being untrust worthy and jumping to conclusions, but in his defense he prolly is so curious about our blogs and OT due to you not letting him see it. He thinks since you don't want him to look in there that you are hiding something. Know what I mean? I'm just trying to look at the overall big pictures. I understand it isn't that you have anything to hide, but sometime you need your place and he needs his. My S.O. doesn't ever look at mine. I even marked it in favorites hoping he would at times, but hasn't. I think since he knows he can he doesn't care as much about looking. If I forbidded him from seeing it he would be more interested. Does that make sense? If you need a place to write your thoughts and things he doesn't need to see, maybe he need to do a private journal or unshared blog or password protected type thing on the computer. Anyway, just trying to see both points of view. *smooch*
*smooches for Carey*
I think my "coming up looking like a glazed donut" and my "furiously doing it with Carey" comments would leave my DH thinking "WTF??!!" Personally, they leave me LOL'ing. :-)
I tend to agree with Nutz, that he thinks he is losing you and that he has to hold on tighter. It's too bad. I have no advice. I'm bad with advice.
I have considered that the flirting here and on OT is just another way for people to build each other up. We're a supportive bunch and "You're attractive" is a supportive thing to say.
This one made me LOL- George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names. Ha!
It was wrong of DH to spy on you, but I can see how someone who isn't in the whole internet game could be surprised by the amount of flirting that goes on. Do you talk to him about us? Maybe if he knew more about us and the dynamic here then he wouldn't have to resort to snooping. Not that I think he has a valid reason for snooping. I don't quite know what I'm trying to say. My head hurts. Heh.
*smooch*
I saw this last night, but just have not had anything to say.
But it's there now. And it's good.
*smooch*
It sounds like maybe you guys have already talked about it but it may be a good idea to talk about it again. I know that in past relationship I've done exactly what he's doing and it cost me.
There always has to be some measure of trust, not in us internet degenerates but in you and him knowing that you know exaclty where the line is and wont cross it.
May I respectfully ask for my name to be removed from your list? *wink*
Dave isn't a computer kinda guy but I show him and tell him what goes on here because I wouldn't want him to think I've been hiding anything. I don't think that any of our fighting over MTW crosses the line. I'm pretty sure that Dave would answer the question the same way. I'll have to ask him.
*smooches*
Hey! I never said the list was for peeps who need to update! It was just for peeps whom I've been missing (due to their lack of time on the blogs). ;-)
MM <--*not* obsessed with peeps updating!
*except Nutzy, since it bugs her* :P
The more I have thought about it today, the more pissed I've gotten. It all started with my b-day thread, when he said one comment "didn't sit right with him" and he decided to take a look into the blogs. (don't bother looking for the thread, the comment is so innocent I don't think anyone would be able to pick it out).
To answer some question, yes, I *do* share alot of OT threads and even blog entries with him. I look at the blogs while he is right in the room with me and sometimes share the topics, when I think he'd enjoy them. The only blog that has been specified as being off limits is my own, after last summer when he found it and read some unflattering things about himself.
Anyways, I'm not sure what's going to be done next, if anything. I'll let it drop I think, but if he complains about the flirting again I'm going to let him know how sneaky it was to read the blogs without my knowledge.
*smooches* everyone! Thanks for the advice and comments.
Hmmm, so he doesn't come HERE! Then, this is the BEST PLACE to flirt with you! Hahahaha!
*dances across blog*
*wearing boxer briefs only*
*looks down MM's top*
*grabs MM and kisses her*
*closes blog door*
*who knows what's next*
*TWICE*
*devilish grin*
List #1 --- I have no idea what you are talking about. (But if you check later today then you might be able to remove me from that list.)
List #2 --- *smirk*
Flirting --- Um, I can understand DH's feelings, especially since he is uninitiated and probably does not understand the internal logic of OT and blogland yet. There's definitely a learning curve there.
However, who do you actually flirt with? Let's see: MTW, the gay guy, and lots of women. I think you shoudl emphasize the lots of women part. That might distract DH for a while, all those lesbian fantasies and all...
HD is very very clever.
HD has a really good point.
Hmmmm yes good point does HD make, but is he saying the MTW is the gay guy *ducks*
If he could partake of Lesbian Fantasies, my husband would be all over blog world.
*sigh*
I can't believe Slim just outed me! I thought we had an understanding!
Sorry, I'm not as strong and confident as you, HD!
HD, very good points. Thanks for the input. *off to flirt with more women bloggers*
By the way, aren't you bisexual? Please?
MTW? There is nothing wrong with being gay (as long as you can still lead me on). ;-)
OH, my Dbf doesn't like it at all. He watches TV. He knows that some people leave their significant other and have wild affairs with their internet friends.
But then he doesn't much like it if I talk to guys period. He thinks I flirt, I think I'm friendly.
I think he worries too much.
I agree with Swami and others. It's like your DH is entering in the middle of a conversation and doesn't understand the context.
I think he was sneaky to go into the blog world via OT links. He's acting insecure.
Sorry for being light on my postings; I've been busy lately. Check out my blog for details.
MM - I just sent you an email you can have fun with.
Puffy! Like I said earlier, "the list" is not me nagging for updates, it's me letting you know you've been missed.
{{hugs}}
Thanks Lasann and Sonya!
I don't think you've crossed the line.
OK... You can come over for a visit and stop missing me now!
No offense, but it would be my guess that if he checked other blogs that he checked here too. It would take a lot of self control for him not to and the fact that he searched for sigs with blogs so that he could go and look ,lacks self control. But he probably won't admit it to you because you have told him that it's off limits.
*waves to Mr. MM*
Yeah, I think Carey is probably right on that one, much as I hate to say it.
Dear Mr. MM,
No matter how much we flirt, I will never steal MM away from you. The orange juice would just be too expensive.
Yours sincerely,
HD
P.S. How you doin'?
I was going to say what Carey said, but I didn't want to cause trouble.
*waves to Mr. MM*
*bumps HD aside*
How you doin?
Hey missy no update?
The reason I'm not too worried about him coming here is because he knows that months ago I put in a tracker, to see who comes by here (or specifically, to make sure *he* didn't come here). It's not something I use frequently, but I exaggerate it so he thinks I am always aware of who comes. He truly believes I will find out if he were to open my blog. (he doesn't know how infrequently I check it, or that I have my home IP address blocked)
Anyways, I guess it's possible, but because of that, I really think he felt he *couldn't* do it, as opposed to having the self-control not to.
I'll try to get an update Zombs. Oooh! Maybe I'll announce that *I'm* pregnant! ;-)
*smooches mm*
Just wanted to throw my $.02 in here. I can understand your DH having some issue with the flirting, especially since he does seem to be insecure in y'all's relationship. Let's face it, people do sometimes develop feelings for other people online that are deeper than just friendship, when it just started out as harmless, innocent flirting. I have more I want to say, but my lunch hour is over. I'm hoping to get my home computer back up this evening, and if I do, I will be sending you a PM.
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